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The new Apple things will have new insides that make them better! And if you buy them all your insides will be better.

There’s a very popular rap concert in KC tonight.

I’m home. Watching reruns of Taxi.

I’m 33.

I’m bored and the kids wanna watch Trolls for the 4,000th time. I’m gonna go out for a pack of smokes and never come back. Like my father, and his father.

This apples painting is starting to piss me off.

Politics. And I use the word "idiot" 

I'm getting tired of being called a Dem, Liberal, Hillary supporter for not liking Trump. I'm none of those things. I just have enough common sense to know Trump is an idiot.

This guy at Best Buy is buying CDs like the internet doesn't exist.

My son told me to turn down CCR in the car so if you see a 4 year old walking down I-70 he deserved it.

Anyone know if the real Slim Shady ever stood up? And if so did he sit back down or what?

Confession: I hate James Bond. All of them. All the films. All dumb.

I've lived in my house for 5 months. I'm still getting the previous owners mail. Who moves and doesn't forward their mail?

I challenge you to find a better named food than tater tots.

Do you ever wonder how much money was spent on cast and crew during the 10 years Smallville was on the air? I do. It keeps me up at night.

I have a game worn jersey from my favorite NFL team. it's the punters jersey though.

Maybe I wanted to leave the original. Did you ever think about that, you stupid printer?!

political? 

It's fine if you don't know that Andrew Jackson wasn't alive during the Civil War. It's not fine if you claim he was.

Another fun thing about Lynyrd Skynyrd is that Ed King, who looks hopelessly Southern, is from California.
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I always like Ronnie Van Zant as a frontman. Probably because while everyone else was dressing ridiculous he wore a tshirt and jeans.
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Remember when Blockbuster would fine you for not rewinding their videos and now they're out of business?

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