Pinned toot

Oh, damn, Haunting of Hill House, you have attention.

I fucked up my shoulder pressure washing the house yesterday (although pressure washing is amazing, so no regrets) so I was looking forward to staying home and being lazy today.

Then I got an email from Michael's about the huge Halloween one day sale they're having today, and now I must go, I have heard the song of my people.

when cats smush their faces into you so you know where to scratch boost if u agree

Just had to explain to the baby that he cannot ride the cat or the dog.

Letting him ride a pony the other day was a mistake.

I'd just like to state for the record that I am personally annoyed that the Boingo song Pandora picked for their Halloween party station is Weird Science and not Dead Man's Party.

Honestly, in a perfect world, it'd be No One Lives Forever, but obviously, we don't live in a perfect world.

excessive screaming about 50 year old chick lit Show more

Sure, he says he wants a gothic girlfriend, but he never wants her to die mysteriously and have her memory so adored by the housekeeper that it unceasingly tortures the second Mrs. de Winter 🙄

Friend of mine posted this on facebook and, uh, big mood.

Birdsite screenshot that says "can you describe why you love the woman in your life without mentioning what she does for you or what you put her through?"

How have I not heard anyone talk about the fact that Alolan Persian looks like it was drawn by Jim Davis? Because it does.

I've gotten all my auto work done at a local chain repair shop for years now. Then I started having annual problems with the ignition coils, which are supposed to last 100k miles, and which they could never adequately fix.

I finally got fed up and took it to the dealership. Turns out the ignition coils kept dying because the other place had never once changed the sparkplugs on an 11 year old car.

I feel like I've learned a valuable and expensive lesson about chain auto repair.

Can people who play(ed) a tooty instrument in real life (trumpet, trombone, French horn, etc) make themselves known, please?
I feel like there's an unusually high amout of real tooters on Mastodon.

Man, I sure am ready for the Petty Tyrant phase of toddlerhood to be over.

I'm at that Pizza hut
I'm at that haunted house
I'm at that combination pizza hut and haunted house

I've managed to avoid mom groups up until this point, but I met a bunch of cool moms at a playdate the other day, so I joined their group.

Aaaaand within two days, there's a mass group invite to a pyramid scheme dildo party.

I hope none of my friends have fond memories of high school locker rooms, because they were pits of hell to anyone not a douchebro.

Eldritch Jolene by Corralfur - A cover of Jolene based on a Tumblr thread that keeps describing her in more and more terrifying ways until the singer begs "Have mercy at the end of days, Jolene."

Baby woke up screaming in the middle of the night and kept it going for two hours, so if you need me I'll be over here doing funnels of coffee.

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