Phew. Parent/Teacher Conferences are over.

As usual, several parents expressed concern that their daughter was “shy.”

I have never heard a parent express concern that their son was shy.

I could bet on this every time and win.

the new secretary of state’s stepdad was the last person known to have seen ghislaine maxwell’s dad alive before he was pushed off his yacht to death. This admin is gonna be so epic

the fact that early pesticides were made from literal chemical warfare agents is so fucking wild to me

and it took like 20 years for people to go hm, maybe this shit kills people

I show up wearing a Geminis Are The Best Lovers t-shirt. A cute person asks me, “So are you a Gemini?” Me, crying, “No...”

The astrologer drew up my star chart but she wouldn’t let me see the paper. She just kept nodding while saying, “Nothing to worry about,” and also mumbled the words, “Mercury Bleeding?”

That’s good right?

Communism is bad because it centralizes things. Also a lot of people’s Smart Thermostats aren’t working today because AWS went down.

A billion dollar corporation hasn’t taken down the webpage containing the COVID-19 prediction: “The United States was named as the country with the strongest measures in place and it came first with 83.5 out of 100. The United Kingdom came second with 77.9.”

dear straight people,

what you call a "love triangle" is just a straight line.

Haiti: Achieved anti-slavery, anti-colonial revolution.

Cuba: 80% home ownership. 99% literacy. 100% health care.

Kazakhstan: Sent the first dog, man, woman, and Black person into space.

USA, France, U.K.: World’s current and greatest purveyors of colonial violence, famous for hilarious but deadly self-owns.

If you don’t see the white supremacy in USA textbooks you’re just not looking. How come any place in Africa is “the developing world” in need of “education” but Nazi Germany is part of “modernity.”

Nazis blew themselves up all the time! One definition of fascism might be: What happens when uneducated White people are allowed access to explosives.

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Why would Obama blow up a wedding? Why would Bill Clinton blow up an Asprin factory? Why would Trump give COVID-19 to half the people he works with?

Instead of assuming there must be some grand secret plan, perhaps consider: Fascists make things blow up and kill people out of sheer stupidity all the time.

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the reason conservatives do all the sillly things they do is because they arent very smart. hope this helps

Literal Nazi conspiracy theories about the Hindenburg are in USA textbooks still. “Some suggest” that the Hindenberg disaster was the result of sabotage...

No it wasn’t. It’s just what happens when you put a lot of hydrogen in one place for long enough. Eventually it ignites. Everyone knew this. Fascists are just that stupid.

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When fascists get to talking about superior Nazi engineering just remind them that the reason the Hindenberg blew up was because no one would sell Hitler any helium because he was such a raging asshole about it and he went ahead and flew the Hindenberg anyway with the Nazi flag proudly on as a propaganda exercise while knowing that hydrogen is very, very flammable and all the engineers went along with it.

Parler required that people give up their social security numbers, and then they got hacked.

Wonder what you could do with thousands of chud SocSec digits

Is it a “fursona” if it’s a living creature with six wings, covered with eyes all around, even under its wings?

but for real though "During a meeting with Pope John Paul II at the Vatican in 1987, they clashed on the issue of wealth disparity, with Maradona stating, "I argued with him because I was in the Vatican and I saw all these golden ceilings and afterwards I heard the Pope say the Church was worried about the welfare of poor kids. Sell your ceiling then amigo, do something!" " (via Wikipedia)

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