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when your friends cant stop arguing about social praxis and nobody remembers to order food? thats when you got none pizza with left beef

Sometimes I try to provide helpful clarity and it... doesn't work.

Me: "Cuttle? Is that spelled like the squid or the hug?"
She: "Squid? Huh?!?"

Me: "That's Hart like the deer, not the organ."
She: "What the fuck are you even saying."

Welp. I have become the sort of person who writes strongly-worded letters to apartment community management. In my defense, they're installing keyless smart locks against resident wishes and are doing a shit job of handling questions and concerns.

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sparkling water is just water with a bad taste that hurts you (you cannot change my mind)

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Thinking about how the mid 2010s gave us both Eleanor Shellstrop and Rey, who represent a pretty wide spectrum of relatable outcomes that might result from growing up in a shitty desert without decent people in your life.

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real talk:
climate change is serious, and we need to take serious, large-scale action to mitigate it.
when i say :bancars: #bancars , this is shorthand. but: don't be stressing about your personal issues, *like that guardian article says*, addressing climate change is about society-wide choices. and as a society, we have chosen cars to transport us. this is not about you, or your job, or your kids.
reliance on personal automobiles needs to stop at the society level. this is not about you.

Videos YouTube recommends to me while I'm watching theremin tutorials:
- How to Program in Visual Basic
- The Secret Behind Numbers 369 Tesla Code Finally Revealed
- Psychic Cringe Fails, vol. 2

Intentionally knocked myself out of because I needed to watch the Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special and it's against my religion to fast-forward past Grace Jones.

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Some tech battles we've lost but that I'm still grumpy about:
- phones should be smaller
- and have headphone jacks
- links in emails should not all point to opaque tracking URLs

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Kissing an Italian chef is just...*Italian chef kiss*

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youve heard of catgirls
youve heard of catboys

now get ready for:
nyanbinary people

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tooting in Old English is also known as "being þorny on main"

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@aparrish ampersive is my new word for when some mix of stress and caffeine means i just keep string clauses together with conjunctions instead of putting a period on a sentence

Yesterday included a 4:00am building fire alarm. Today has involved the instructions "hold affected area under cool running water until pain dissipates." I don't know which fire god I pissed off, but I'm seriously considering lighting some candles tonight in appeasement.

Noticing that a few of my usual Christmas playlists have been updated to be LDB-safe, and wondering how long 'til we get "'Millennials are killing Little Drummer Boy'" thinkpieces.

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