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Richard Goodness

Yeah, I think I'm done with Mastodon, you kids have too fucking many obnoxious memes.

Anyone in have any good legal resources when you're the leaseholder and an off-lease roommate's drinking problem is making life very difficult? It's been a rough few days.

Q. Why are you making that fried fish sandwich?
A. Just for the halibut.

TIL a good way to scare the shit out of your players is to put a bunch of gargoyle statues in a hallway they have to cross several times, make the entire group roll a D20 every time they enter, and simply say "the gargoyles do not move" no matter what their roll.

Sometimes it's very weird living in the future Marilyn Manson tried to warn us about.

If you came to my station at my school's dining hall today, here's what I'd serve you. My mother's recipe!

My most rules-minded player has been begging me to let him use a spell from Xanathar's Guide (which I don't allow for the simple reason that I don't own it). I'm thinking of putting a scroll of Ice Knife in tomorrow's dungeon, warning him against taking it, and sucking three spectres on the level 2 party. They have Life Drain ^_^

I think I'm incapable of designing a dungeon without including a kitchen sequence. This week my players are going to help a ghost make a banquet.

This message brought you by I just had to make gravy at work.

I just don't "get" gravy. If you need it to flavor mashed potatoes and moisten chicken, then whomever cooked the potatoes and chicken did a piss poor job.

So I tried not to be marketing-y at all about "The Majesty of Colors" here, but now I'm curious: is there anything folks wanted to know about Majesty or other (commercial) projects I work on that would have been in line with Masto culture? I'd love to talk more about how I spend all my time, but don't want to bring the "Brand" mentality here (even unintentionally).

The first DND dungeon I designed on my own and everyone had fun and came close to death a couple times!

Just hit me that I'm so underprepared for the DND game I'm running tomorrow right after work...!

Oh my fucking god I have posted this four times and it keeps showing the facepalm before the image of what I'm reacting to

The school I work for is having a "Harry Potter Banquet" tonight. I hope they appreciate that I gayed up the fruit platters as much as I could without blueberries.