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[ME]: "Dare me to eat this entire gallon of sherbet?"

[MY CATS]: *don't understand but intuitively know to back away from me*

wtf has happened to mastodon today?

yesterday every toot was all "hi my toots are stored in the balls "

today seems to be "hi i am a cop and proud! looking forward to 'tooting' with you folks he he he" "hi i'm an investment banker - cool eh? can't wait to do lots of toots with you, my new pals!"

a centaur is a kind of special horse with 100 legs

i'm not 100% convinced it's the healthiest thing in the world but i have now found my dream takeaway:

* paneer manjurian
* onion pakoda
* veechu paratha

name a more iconic trio. i'll wait.

1 like = 2 anti-likes and the contingently possible onto-phenomenological question of digital essence: of, "What can be tooted?”

the new meme is "regular horse", the horse with no distinguishing characteristics or habits

"What is Mastodon?"

"It's a competition to see who can find the funniest domain name for their instance"

"I thought it was a social network?"

"Yeah it's that too, I suppose"

i must've done something right because the ratio of shitposting to birdsite comparisons on my feed is now weighted more heavily towards the former.

have YOU got bones? no? oh i'm sorry i'll find someone else thanks

I have a question that mastodon is probably off the beaten track enough for. I've been having some problems with my mental health recently, anxiety, depression, stuff like that. In the last few days I've been catching up with people I manage who I've not talked to in a while as I've basically tried to make myself absent when I've been unable to cope. My strategy in these catch ups has been to be pretty honest. But is this the right thing to do? Should you be honest about MH as a manager?

My first and most popular song. In which I reveal my jealousy of small dogs. Why do they seem to enjoy the world so happily and so simply? Why can't i? soundcloud.com/rsslldnphy/smal

This was me making an attempt to learn how to make "proper" music, but in the end I realised I'd rather just carry on making "trash", thank you very much. Still like it tho. soundcloud.com/rsslldnphy/rain

It's pretty suspicious that we just assume that dogs exist tbh. What did we do to deserve them? Nothing, that's what. It's more likely they don't exist than they do. That's what this song is about: soundcloud.com/rsslldnphy/we-d

Did you know that there's no evidence for sniffer dogs? It's all bullshit. They're just there to legitimize the racism of the police. This is a song about that. soundcloud.com/rsslldnphy/snif

This is a song about my mum's dog, Molly, learning how to swim for the first time thanks to some... help... from me. She's not got long left, poor doggy. soundcloud.com/rsslldnphy/moll

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Mastodon

Follow friends and discover new ones. Publish anything you want: links, pictures, text, video. This server is run by the main developers of the Mastodon project. Everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!