brumpbo tungus @ruglen_holon@mastodon.social

Today some woman came down and yelled at us for not picking up mail that they hadn't put in their mailbox until after the last run of the day, and nobody even called us about it until after the mail carrier had already come and gone. Seeing my boss have to take that has kind of made me not want to work for the rest of the day

I have a tendency when people criticize me to just block them out & not care as my initial reaction. I think that's a learned behavior

There's a point at which people will ridicule you for trying to be as morally right as possible, and that's a compromising position to be in. You can't really win sometimes by playing by the rules

The shitty thing about being disabled is that people aren't going to make it easier for you. They're going to make it harder by judging you for it like it were a personal failing

I wonder if I should tell my boss that when I have to punch books it really hurts my back because I have to remain standing but stooped over slightly. It's really effing uncomfortable

Like goddamn, I've been gaslit my whole life. And it's affected my self-image a LOT. Jesus

Like I'm thinking about how different my life could've been if people had considered that. But like they treat autism like it's a singular entity & therefore the least specific explanation apparently has to be the correct one, because for some reason people are incapable of nuanced conclusions on their own

It kind of reminds me of this "outsider artist" who's a deaf woman with down syndrome who was institutionalized for years before anyone realized she was deaf. Kinda mind blowing how you could miss that

It's amazing that between being diagnossd with aspergers at age 10 and this year that no one's told me how commonly comorbid it is with sensory processing issues, because like those have been tripping me up my whole life but like, nobody noticed? Like damn

Being morally upstanding when no one's watching is actually really effing hard bc like there are way fewer consequences for not doing it.

The worst consequence would be getting used to not caring as much & then you begin to slide into total moral indifference

Because like, giving up can have consequences but it can be better for you if you can just decide to do it. Whereas forestalling that decision is just avoidance

I feel like not giving up is a less important skill than being able to make a decision when you have to

Sometimes I feel totally useless at this job

I know this just sounds like more self-pity, but I'm impressed by people who keep showing up to work and stay there all day instead of giving in to the constant urges to leave & go home

I would rather not believe things that are comforting if they're dishonest

Facebook is a hell hole. I still go on it a lot bc I'm bored & can't focus on other shit but there's a lot of it I can't stand anymore

I couldn't really give a rat's ass about my job besides the fact that it pays the bills, but I'm not really doing anything meaningful with the rest of my life

I feel like there's an overlap between people who support Evo Morales and the Hong Kong protesters, and Idk what that's about