Last night I had a hard time falling asleep because I was too busy thinking of the best way I could have reference for the size difference between rue and nearly everyone else

I put in a ton of effort. I wanted to change it. I attended (and still do) therapy to deal with my childhood trauma. I still research and touch base with multiple people. I've never seen him do any of these things.

He seems more content with following his father's footsteps as far as neglect goes, albeit a little differently and not to the same extent, then feeling guilty about it than actually making steps to change.

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The real difference between him and me is that once I was pregnant, I did a ton of research. About how children bond, about parenting methods. I learned some psychology and instituted a rule about no hitting- because I knew first hand how fast tempers get out of control.

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He says that I have an advantage because I have learned what not to do, but that's not generally how the cycle of abuse happens. I had to make an effort as far as realizing that what I had experienced wasnt great, and wanting to be different before my first child was born. It may be true that I have learned what not to do, but that doesnt mean I inherently know what is best?

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Last night husband came to me telling me he was struggling bc he didnt know how to be a father. That his father was absent a lot.

This is awful, but like. I was bounced around, abused, and dehumanized for the first almost 20 years of my life and I have figured it out. I seem to have better gut feelings about what our kids need and how to treat them

Having many comic thoughts πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

I guess one romance trope I actually really like is what I call "idiots in love"- they're in love with each other but the other one doesnt know so they just pine forever

I'd like everyone to know that my comic is still updating but I feel weird promoting it right now so

Go read it if you like fantasy and angels

Good news my cornea is not actually separating from my eye, I just have very low blood pressure

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My day has gone from 0 to 1000 very quickly and I hope it's not what it could be 😬😱

I've been having panic attacks daily for the past few days (Joe going back to work).

I've really been struggling and I feel really alone. I feel like a bad, inconsiderate, inconvenient person. I cant even focus long enough to work on my comic.

I really wish I could get more than a minute alone

He said I could have time to myself, I got to my room and didnt even sit down when he came after me, toddler in tow


Computer tower has apparently shipped! Excited and nervous. Hope it arrives quickly

Our dm rewards people with inspo for art (which causes me a lot of anxiety, some anger, and stress/ guilt) so I guess I'll finally get art inspo

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I have an emo like idea for my rogue, nova, and maybe instead of being g embarrassed I should lean into it and just draw it

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