Pinned toot

Celebrities Don't Understand Money, another genre I loved writing:

Pinned toot

The Handsome Idiot ones were fun to write, here are four favorites:

Pinned toot

I stopped writing for Clickhole a while ago, but here are some of my favorite They Said What?!s I wrote:

Backing card art Show more

I set a PR for farmer carries tonight: 124 pounds. I didn't get far, but I did it.

Talked about weightlifting in a job interview 🏆

Loomis this isn’t the kind of mouse you’re supposed to hunt.

exercise Show more

I was taking pictures of her doing this cute pose and then she yawned! Wow, nature is incredible

When you’re working from home and your buddy jumps in on the stand-up video call

I want to join this gang but I don’t know if I’m cool enough :breathe:

I realized I didn't give proper context: I'm totally healthy! Doc needs to check my cholesterol, which is probably gonna be high due to genetics. How does a vegetarian weightlifter get high cholesterol well it's just the dna lottery I guess

boost if u are impressed at how many boxes Bear managed to sit in all at the same time

@saramchenry there’s a pharmacy in the doctors office so I bought a granola bar and ate it in the elevator, I already feel alive again

Welp that was the closest I’ve ever come to fainting at the doctor. It’s not ladylike and graceful at all! My vision went gray and all my blood was screaming and my stomach was jumping around!

I have to fast this morning because I’m getting a blood test, and folks? I’m hungry

just gave my name in starbucks as "we're starting a union" and when the barista called it out all the workers got fired

exercise/food Show more

exercise Show more

Show more
Mastodon

Follow friends and discover new ones. Publish anything you want: links, pictures, text, video. This server is run by the main developers of the Mastodon project. Everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!