The angels are falling from heaven. Like icarus their wings burn from their hubris. So be sure to bring the car into the garage as your insurance probably doesn't cover this event.

**Not Saucy** · May 24, 2018, 04:02

Not Saucy boosted

**Hat** @HatTheButcher · May 24, 2018, 04:02

@probgoblin I will obliterate your ribcage

**Not Saucy** · May 24, 2018, 02:29

Not Saucy boosted

**Stâçė** @Girl_a_whirl · May 24, 2018, 02:29

Them: Solve for x
Me, powers up flamethrower

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 02:29

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 02:29

"its a saggy old dustin hoffman that stars in this year's worst remake"

tootsie rolls
82 mins
⭐️⭐️

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 02:23

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 02:23

[when i get triggered online]
SON OF A PIECE OF MILK!!

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 00:34

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 24, 2018, 00:34

another big ups day for us all here on mastodon,,,i hope you are all feeling really pure

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 23:30

Not Saucy boosted

**flussence 🦖** @flussence · May 23, 2018, 23:30

I'm too lazy to automate away the other things I'm too lazy to do

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 23:43

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 23:43

[first date] i could easily fit your hole head in my mouth

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 05:47

Not Saucy boosted

**Phil** @geowizzacist · May 23, 2018, 05:47

‘Sitting down is the new smoking’ I say, lighting my coworker’s chair on fire.

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 23:29

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 23:29

regular turtle: *whispers* step off thats thiccy thug turtle,,,hes tuff as shell
thug turtle: oh shell yeah boi

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 22:20

Not Saucy boosted

**colby, #1 borzoi fan** @dog@nulled.red · May 23, 2018, 22:20

psyche is pure and nice and if you dont like them you have no heart

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 22:24

Not Saucy boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble@freedom.horse · May 23, 2018, 22:24

@ElfLord you millenials will put anything in a bag of rice, sheesh

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 18:17

Not Saucy boosted

**Sopan** @sopan@mstdn.io · May 23, 2018, 18:17

Scooby-doo taught us that the real monsters are people.

**Not Saucy** · May 22, 2018, 22:57

Not Saucy boosted

**madge** @madge@freedom.horse · May 22, 2018, 22:57

How many cats are being sprayed by their owner with a spray bottle RIGHT now?

**Not Saucy** · May 23, 2018, 20:50

Not Saucy boosted

**boutique (idiot aspect)** @007@mastodon.xyz · May 23, 2018, 20:50

love too have anxiety

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 20:04

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 20:04

millennial (after second day at high school): great news,, i am dropping out to become a cheetah
dad: that’s fast

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 19:53

**Not Saucy** @saucy · May 23, 2018, 19:53

[3 guys in the woods]
guy1: lets bury it here
guy2: im not sure about this
guy1: we are in the woods now. we left the wonts hours ago
guy3: *muffled sounds from a body bag*

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