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scarman boosted

if you printed out this chart and laid it on the ground, then added a bar for "destroy 1 international container ship", at 1 centimeter per 10 tonnes of CO2 saved annually, the bar would stretch from New York City to Boston. But yeah, don't have a child you asshole!!!

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my neck, my back, my pussy and *gimli voice* MY AXE

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So in the episode of ds9 where we first meet quark's mother she's played by Andrea Martin and she's pretty fun but then I guess they couldn't get her to come back for more episodes so in later eps his mom is played by a different actress who is just freaking awful and cringe and embarrassing to watch omg make it stop

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Doctor: I'm terribly sorry but the tests are back. Your child is artistic.

Parents: (sob)

Doctor: Now don't worry, it's not the end of the world. Your child will never have the mind of an executive, but with modern innovations like Etsy, Patreon and Kickstarter, they may be able to pay rent well into their mid-20s.

Parent: Did... did crayons do this

Doctor: Who can say? We're exposed to so many forms of art every day: music, poetry, language, geometry..

Parent: We're getting crayons BANNED

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So when Garak walks in on Bashir's holosuite program in Our Man Bashir, you just know he was hoping to get in on some lewd Bashir action. We know he's got a thing for him. He knows what people do in holosuites. Why else would he just walk in on him like that?

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scarman boosted

Troi's attraction to Riker might not make much sense given he's a day-old slice of unbuttered toast, but an empath is always hyperaware of other people's feelings, so being around someone who's an emotional goldfish is like the betazed equivalent of just wearing sweatpants

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@squid when someone says 'what's bofa' you must now answer with 'a community of unfairly persecuted mastodon users'

This Wil Wheaton guy seems like a fucken write off hey

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scarman boosted
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scarman boosted

booed mercilessly off the stage on karaoke night for trying to recite rudyard kipling's "if" to the tune of "escape (the piña colada song)"

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Every morning my boss takes out a smith and wesson snub nose revolver and fires a .38 special round directly into my head, piercing my brain casing and killing me instantly but do I stop going to work? no. because I want to do the same to employees of my own some day

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[Slaps roof of stillsuit] this baby can fit so much urine and feces in it

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you know what else was good? fidel castro putting less effort into dressing up to meet foreign politicians than i do in putting clothes on to go to the shop round the corner

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reminder that if you're a narc you're legally obliged to tell people. you wouldn't want to break the rules, would you

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