when I first ran D&D, my grandmother, who had bought fully into the IT'S SATANISM hype, insisted on sitting and watching the first session

about an hour in, she threw her hands up and yelled 'THIS IS JUST MATH' and stormed off

@senatormeow What did she think satanism was? It really is just all math with some political philosophy and basic empathy thrown in. 🤓

@senatormeow this is the absolute best reaction anecdote to a game of D&D I have ever and will ever read or hear in my LIFE

@dayglochainsaw idk what she expected

like I was gonna open the Fiend Folio and start binding a flumph to my will or something

@senatormeow what fundamentalists expect D&D to be like: the evil "dungeon master" must force the players to commit horrific acts in submission to his satanic will

What D&D is actually like:

DM: You can't... you can't fucking cross the river by seducing it. You just can't. I'm begging you not to do this.
Player: *rolls a nat 20* I SUCCESSFULLY SEDUCE THE RIVER

@dayglochainsaw The river nymph rises from the waters and carries you across the river on her back. She then tosses you a seashell mouthing "Call me"

@senatormeow OMG is it okay if I take a screenshot of this and share it elsewhere? I'll link back here.

@senatormeow as I've heard elsewhere, it's not unlike bingo, where one person shouts numbers and other people get excited over them

@senatormeow Wait, math isn't considered satanism anymore?

@senatormeow Technically, it's arithmetics and a bit of combinatorial theory :)

@senatormeow Sorry to hear about your grandmother's disappointment. Sounded like she was pretty enthusiastic about trying out the Satanism thing, too.

@senatormeow and now the calculus for drawing a pentragram are made, mwahahah.

@senatormeow Ah, so she was not incorrect in her initial thoughts then ;-)

@senatormeow Satan only gives instructions as Dungeon Master when you play Led Zeppelin records backwards.

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