Tom boosted
Tom boosted

WhTs the secret to my great beard youm’st ask? Simple. Never shaev

My workday is spent staring at a terminal, trying to fix a gemfile, while occasionally replacing my half-empty lacroix with a new one

Tom boosted

What defines a jort?

What secrets do they hold within?

β€œI only like hungover Tom”, says my coworker

Today’s the one day this week I’m not hungover

Tom boosted

How much would it cost to get a network of pneumatic tubes installed in the office?

I hate programming I hate computers I hate tech I hate the internet I hate...

If you don’t me but you make a Taking Back Sunday reference to me I’m legally allowed to trip you

When I throw up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a start
I wanna be in movies... 🎢

Tomorrow I’m playing with a flamethrower so in case I die and never get to toot again I just want to say...

Cats are girls and dogs are boys

Tom boosted
Tom boosted

the new meme is "regular horse", the horse with no distinguishing characteristics or habits

Engineering expectation: all in doing is cleaning up some code to make emails easier for my coworkers

Engineering reality: -existential dread when a senior programmer tells you something is broken and you have to scramble to figure out why-

β€ͺHey Siri how many calories are in depression?‬

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