You awake in a strange chamber, light flickering in from a crack in the ceiling. The walls and floor are made of smooth stone, with no visible seams aside from the aforementioned crack. There is a pedestal with a small box on it in the center of the room. Set in the walls are two doors, one to the north, and one too the south.
What do you do?
Funny, long story that will make you hate me when I'm done.
Once upon a time, there was a man. This man was like any other man, save for one thing. He owned a black shark, and he kept it in a white pool. I know what you're thinking; why does he have a black shark in his white pool. Well, the man had a rule that he would never tell anyone, and that no one was supposed to ask him about it. He told everyone he became close with, "don't ask me about my black shark in my white pool."
A coworker has a tattoo that when she got it she thought it said "If I were rain, I would go where there is no water." but she later found out it said "If I die, you can't make me drink water." to which I responded "Ah, the old saying 'You can lead a corpse to water, but you can't make him drink.'"
If I might suggest a moron to dunk on, let me suggest Major Bee.
They're getting mad at being called a Nazi because they're spouting "Hitler was socialist" nonsense on @Gargron's cross poster meme
I'm the comedy equivalent of the small bird that picks food out of the mouth of a crocodile.
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