Pinned toot

The hit TV show Seinfeld except all of the jokes in the cold open are just @j997922 toots.

Pinned toot

Why do people always think glasses make you look smart? You have to fail an exam to get them.

Pinned toot

You awake in a strange chamber, light flickering in from a crack in the ceiling. The walls and floor are made of smooth stone, with no visible seams aside from the aforementioned crack. There is a pedestal with a small box on it in the center of the room. Set in the walls are two doors, one to the north, and one too the south.

What do you do?

Pinned toot

If fathers are covered in skin, are forefathers covered in foreskin?

Pinned toot

Funny, long story that will make you hate me when I'm done. 

I cannot even imagine what it takes to be so online that you need to take a break. I have simply never been that online.

I have seen duck's blood but I don't want to ruin the joke.

Once Eugen implements the follower transplant function I might actually move off m.s.

Where should I move? Radtown? Myasstodon?
Self hosted instance?

Death mention 

The first thing I ever saw Eric Andre in was Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23, so all of his other performances seem weird to me with that reference point

Masto bug report: Anyone ever have this happen where you log on and there’s nothing new in your notifications tab? Even though you did a post like 1.47 seconds ago? Is anyone working on this?

If I wanted to run a Pelroma instance, where would be the best place to find anime girl fascists to populate the instance?

I'm not about to load my photo into some random website @PublicChaffinch found, but I suspect I too would be described as a "fornicateress".

Each new funko pop is actually designed to look like his next victim.

A manifesto delivered to news papers around the country, signed with a silhouette of a funko pop.

All the different funko pops sealed in plastic evidence bags, tacked to a wall with strings hung between them in a web, a detective staring into those void, black eyes, and yelling "I WILL FIND YOU!"

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