Max Magaña @sexybenfranklin@mastodon.social

Once upon a time, there was a man. This man was like any other man, save for one thing. He owned a black shark, and he kept it in a white pool. I know what you're thinking; why does he have a black shark in his white pool. Well, the man had a rule that he would never tell anyone, and that no one was supposed to ask him about it. He told everyone he became close with, "don't ask me about my black shark in my white pool."

The bell icon for Tusky isn't directly under the teardrop of my 6T and I'll be honest. It bugs me a little

I know that buying a screen protector at your service provider is a huge markup compared to buying it online, but fuck, they are good at installing them. No dust, no bubbles, nothin'. Belkin apparently has these little kits that's just like step by step to perfection. Both my new OnePlus 6T and my wife's new iPhone XR look fantastic.

I want to make a CCG about early man back when all peoples were part of nomadic tribal groups, and call it Hunter: The Gathering

Anyone in downtown #chicago know what that huge sound near water tower was. Sounded like a huge pop

Wow snow came to Chicago early. It's coming down.

You know, Mario. And his brother Linguini

I'm gonna be Ernest, this joke is shit

Used the term "divine the arcane" and I feel like a God.

I've heard tale of some deviants on this site using the term "blasting rope" to describe phallic ejaculation. I will have you know that the proper term is "det cord"

Current mood

The thing I like the most about this phone compared to my LG V30 is that it always shows the buttons, as opposed to the LG which had the option to hide them but it only did it when I actually wanted the buttons and was totally suck ass

I got a new phone and all my apps look weird on it, but like, in a good way.

I got the One Plus 6T btw

Hmmm, I just saw a tweet from 2014 saying solarpunk is for socialists and fusionpunk is for fascists, solarpunk people can't see the irony of dismissing nuclear fusion as "fascism" then I don't think they really are gonna be the ones to bring about a sustainable future.

If a "jabroni" is a loser and a "brony" is a male fan of MLP, is Jabrony redundant?

Honestly, it reminds me a lot of The Nameless City, with the claustrophobia induced by the descriptions of the low architecture being similar to that of the holes in Fault.

I read that "this is my hole" comic and now I'm gonna have nightmares. Thanks a lot, Japan.

You've seen red band trailers now see red band buttermilk

Woke up to pointed pains in my abdomen, now I'm just on the pot shitting out everything in my body. At least they aren't kidney stones

Them: What do you want?

You, a fool: Love, happiness, validity, money, satisfaction.

Me, an intellectual: I WANT MY HANDS BACK!

Would love it if there was a way to see which toot was the catalyst that caused someone to follow you, so I can know whether people have good taste or terrible taste.