The hit TV show Seinfeld except all of the jokes in the cold open are just @j997922 toots.
You awake in a strange chamber, light flickering in from a crack in the ceiling. The walls and floor are made of smooth stone, with no visible seams aside from the aforementioned crack. There is a pedestal with a small box on it in the center of the room. Set in the walls are two doors, one to the north, and one too the south.
What do you do?
Funny, long story that will make you hate me when I'm done.
Once upon a time, there was a man. This man was like any other man, save for one thing. He owned a black shark, and he kept it in a white pool. I know what you're thinking; why does he have a black shark in his white pool. Well, the man had a rule that he would never tell anyone, and that no one was supposed to ask him about it. He told everyone he became close with, "don't ask me about my black shark in my white pool."
It's hard to find furniture at the intersection of affordable, cool, and sturdy. I'm trying to replace my bedside table with a bookshelf (as I have a growing stack of RPG books on it), and there are some cool looking ones I've found, but when I read the reviews, it's always "Poorly constructed" or "difficult to put together".
@tessaracked I know you told me about Tank Noodle being shit before, but my wife just told me apparently they got fined $700k because they hadn't been paying their employees a wage, just giving them the tips they made, and even then, skimming from that. Really hoping Tank Noodle gets shut down.
Religion
I saw a post on LinkedIn called something like "Black Women Empowered" and then some other word, and it was an image that said "God will put you where HE thinks..." something something I don't remember the rest, and it seemed really weird to me to see a women's empowerment group talking about how their conception of a male god was going to make decisions for them.
Sex talk
That's not to say that it wasn't good before, it was good, it just wasn't something we'd really think about, so we wouldn't really do it.
Weirdly enough, I think it all kinda started when I asked her to get herself some lingerie for my Christmas present.
Summoning two types of guys with a single post (one of them is @healyn):
Bruce Springsteenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I'm the comedy equivalent of the small bird that picks food out of the mouth of a crocodile.
My food alt is https://kith.kitchen/@sexybenfranklin (Un-CW'd Pictures of Food likely)
"god reading those words just caused my soul to leave my fucking body" - @Dayglochainsaw
"you shitpost enough, that's for sure." - @radicalrobit
"OF COURSE. OF COURSE YOU TAKE JER'S SIDE. FCOR CUfkgFCUCK SAke. GD DAMMIT. yyou ass HOLE" - @larrydavis@radical.town