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I have a great mighty need to "um, actually" someone but I'm not going to do it.

The best part was she is now married and her name is hyphenated and like, seriously Facebook, why would that be in my memories, we are not even friends anymore

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I didn't get home until 11:15 last night and I woke up at 5:30 this morning, so yeah, you could say that my head hurts.

Facebook showed me a memory of my relationship status changing with a girl I dated for like a month 8 years ago, and how fucking awkward is that

[This is gonna anger laserdisc voice] More like David Bunch, am I right?

Hello, it's not 16h23, but it's chill time in my new jail for the afternoon.

@sexybenfranklin @JohnBrownJr i like the way the book looks, the only good thing about it

Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my pulchritude.

@Counsel Have you watched Amphibia? I think you'd like it. Big Gravity Falls vibe.

Tumblr must be having a hard time with the supply chain disruptions. I've heard shipping is a lot more expensive now.

(I know that it's Clearwater, but I saw Philly say "Soldwater" and here we are)

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You're telling me that you're giving Credence to this Coldwater Revival?

You ever go way too deep into someone's toot history, and then you see something that you want to talk about but like, how do you explain why you're that far back?

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