Like we are figuratively destroying ourselves from the inside. You can’t make this shit up.

I have bad news. My company’s new logo looks like the company name ran into the old logo and blew it up

I will say this out of empathy for comedians who feel oppressed by cancel culture: It’s probably really hard to find out your only friends are all the other people who say mean things to find out who their friends are. This concludes what I have to say out of empathy for comedians who feel oppressed by cancel culture.

A word of advice if you’ve spent your adult life complaining about the ubiquitous musical shitstorm Coldplay has forced upon you: don’t go through their catalog to count the songs you actually liked because it is MORE THAN YOU THINK

Interesting fact: Susanna Hoffs originally wrote the Bangles hit “Eternal Flame” as “This Duraflame”. It was the collaboration with veteran songwriting team Steinberg & Kelly that made it a global number one hit when they posed the question, what if the flame *NEVER* goes out

Am I seriously the only one who hated the babadook

The curse of a product manager is first hand experience with the phenomenon that literally everyone else in the organization a) has an opinion, and b) thinks no one else has an opinion

The only appropriate response to a rhetorical question is “is that a serious question” because if only for a fraction of a second, it’ll make them feel stupid

A great line can be great for its words or for its delivery but “I got secrets can’t leave Cancun” is one of those rare cases where it’s a solid 💯on both counts

@alex do I remember correctly that you turned me on to Alex Cameron?

I don’t know that I _entirely_ agree, but it’s definitely clear to me that the closer one gets to drumming and understanding what good drumming *is*, the more one notices when that role lifts or drags the ship. I think it’s more true than other roles, unless you’re one of those bands literally named after the lead guitarist.

A guy who would know once said to me, “your band is only as good as your drummer.” And only now do I recognize the importance of the word “only” in that sentence, it elegantly does not necessarily dictate that the band IS as good as the drummer. It only names the limiting factor.

still not sure what the fuck comes with the egg noodles they serve at this bar

Crossing “run from one end of one of the worlds largest airports all the way to the other at an all out sprint with 30 lbs of bags to applause from the desk crew upon my arrival only to sit and radiate like a goddamn bonfire in my seat on the plane as we sit on the tarmac for half an hour” off the bucket list

our power company’s willingness to invest in infrastructure is shitty enough that they’re just deciding to turn electricity off when it gets windy instead, which seems fine

Yes I can see how it could be taken poorly that I call my wife’s butt crack the Great Depression but I mean well and she seems ok with it and she would tell me if it was a problem so

🎵 mid-season montage I know I know it’s serious 🎵

“I saw a kid with no shoes or pants walking around my hospital today.”

“Well where the hell else are they gonna go?”

Show more
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!