I always lock my accounts when I'm depressed and trying to disappear from the memory of others, but I'm feeling better now so... UNLOCKT

idk who needs to hear this right now, but: it's egg season

🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚

i killed some pachypodiums, lol. not really lol i'm kinda upset but i have to lol through the tears.

Dissected them both to make sure, one is extremely dessicated and might have made it if not for being a seedling, and the other was mush. At least I wasted $30 of plants and not like... $300... (single adult plants of this kind are easily over $300).


i think i locked this acct down for that reason, i'm just not into interpersonal drama at all anymore and am just staying away from people who do that kinda shit so woo hopefully you all feel that~

been trying to recreate my twitter and whatever social areas I use publicly in my own image. which is to say, silly and full of frivoloties I'm interested in at the moment instead of constantly stressing about shit i don't have any control over. it's been nice

i forgot about mastadon v__v

on the plus side i finally finished my comic so that's something

on the minus side... actually no, finishing stuff is RAD

lol is that the green onion puff paratha from ranch 99... this pic gave me asmr


The important thing is I put my snuggie in the wash and if I'm patient I will have a warm blanket in about 2 hours

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Bing made an interesting metaphor the other day about friendships being a ladder with rungs that need to be established before you can climb higher... kinda feeling that. It's hard to make those lower rungs and even harder to build it further. Then you get up there and find out that the other person maybe only climbed up your ladder cuz it was the height they needed to get to something else.

bla bla bla i'm lonely and tired same as usual

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In general I've been feeling as if I'm useless to people unless I'm doing things for them. Out of all my family, friends, etc, I think I have like 3 people left who I know/ see in person at least 2x a year who don't want a single thing from me. I just like helping? I'm not trying to be either a resource or a savior I just prefer to help when I can. I think that signals to some people that I'm a mark or a dumbass, idk. Maybe I am

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Friend who frequently only initiates convo when it is money related... bums me out. Hard not to feel like a commodity. Doesn't help that I'm about to spend half of my life savings as down payment in a few days? I like do not want to talk about or think about additional spending rn but i don't think that's coming up on their radar and it feels bitch of me to bring it up defensively so... ugh

I forgot I put some extra bell pepper seeds from a bell pepper I was cooking into a bunch of dirt a while ago (last july/ august at least), and the dirt has been lying fallow until the last few weeks. I've been growing something completely different in this recycled dirt but now I have a surprise of 3 bell pepper plants that just popped up yesterday, haha. Lucky me~

bf: what is this stuff in the freezer?
me: oh, i wanted to make congee tomorrow, it's just rice.
bf: oh, okay. i thought it was seeds
me:... rice... IS seeds...?
bf: ...
me: ...

(as it turns out yes, rice is seeds)
(my brain had never considered this before evidently lol)
(wheat is also seeds)

hoooly shit I just got so lucky!!!

Note: I am 100% only posting this to torture @WombatSaskia

Sometimes on Law and Order they'll show a meme and it looks completely fake and stupid, then a documentary will also show a meme (for example, FyreFraud showed the "everything is fine" animation for 2 seconds with some clown music in the bg) and it will also look completely fake and stupid, so who even knows anymore

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I like how every modern documentary must have the same format... 70% interviews, 30% news clips and youtube memes to show how much of a cultural phenomenon [thing] was, OR black and white 30's cartoons OR bad flash animations.

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