i killed some pachypodiums, lol. not really lol i'm kinda upset but i have to lol through the tears.
Dissected them both to make sure, one is extremely dessicated and might have made it if not for being a seedling, and the other was mush. At least I wasted $30 of plants and not like... $300... (single adult plants of this kind are easily over $300).
PLANT LESSON: DO NOT WATER THE BARE ROOT SEEDLINGS
The important thing is I put my snuggie in the wash and if I'm patient I will have a warm blanket in about 2 hours
Bing made an interesting metaphor the other day about friendships being a ladder with rungs that need to be established before you can climb higher... kinda feeling that. It's hard to make those lower rungs and even harder to build it further. Then you get up there and find out that the other person maybe only climbed up your ladder cuz it was the height they needed to get to something else.
bla bla bla i'm lonely and tired same as usual
In general I've been feeling as if I'm useless to people unless I'm doing things for them. Out of all my family, friends, etc, I think I have like 3 people left who I know/ see in person at least 2x a year who don't want a single thing from me. I just like helping? I'm not trying to be either a resource or a savior I just prefer to help when I can. I think that signals to some people that I'm a mark or a dumbass, idk. Maybe I am
Friend who frequently only initiates convo when it is money related... bums me out. Hard not to feel like a commodity. Doesn't help that I'm about to spend half of my life savings as down payment in a few days? I like do not want to talk about or think about additional spending rn but i don't think that's coming up on their radar and it feels bitch of me to bring it up defensively so... ugh
I forgot I put some extra bell pepper seeds from a bell pepper I was cooking into a bunch of dirt a while ago (last july/ august at least), and the dirt has been lying fallow until the last few weeks. I've been growing something completely different in this recycled dirt but now I have a surprise of 3 bell pepper plants that just popped up yesterday, haha. Lucky me~
hoooly shit I just got so lucky!!!
Note: I am 100% only posting this to torture @WombatSaskia
Sometimes on Law and Order they'll show a meme and it looks completely fake and stupid, then a documentary will also show a meme (for example, FyreFraud showed the "everything is fine" animation for 2 seconds with some clown music in the bg) and it will also look completely fake and stupid, so who even knows anymore
froze my rice last night and finally get to make this tonight for dinner while it's cold and rainy for once... https://thewoksoflife.com/2016/10/20-minute-congee-recipe/
this show makes zero sense (when you're only watching every other scene)
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