Der-shing Helmer is a user on mastodon.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

Der-shing Helmer @shingworks@mastodon.social

this is my favorite crab pic because I can use it in a celebratory context, in an exasperated context, or in the normal *runs screaming into the ocean* context

I'm so stressed about stuff that I managed to wormhole into the non-stress dimension of "nothing matters actually"

i'm trying to be upbeat but honestly i'm like nearly destroyed, haha, I've been burned out since Feb and i have to go hard until uhhh like sept 2019. which is cool, i like working, just kinda need a breather. i'll relax tonight then tomorrow its back to work🦀

as a reward for surviving this fucking ks i get to go to my first-ever happy hour :] being a sort of prudent, boring person, I didn't really know what happy hours were for for a long time, but NOW I GET IT

does anyone else get that one gigantic, nearly-invisible hair that grows out of a random part of their face? every time i find it its a nightmare. What grows on the underside of a chin?? why is it 1.5 inches????????????? scream

I'll just say it: I loved Disney's Dinosaur. It's still one of my favs. The movie is treated like the stepkid you keep locked in the basement for some reason but I thought it looked amazing when it came out and I'm still shocked/ pleasantly surprised that 2 of the main chars were old women, and another one was non-verbal, also the carnotaurs were really scary, k bye

oh god i was just looking at horse refs and found this pic of a horse poncho and almost spit out my drink

BF informed me that he adopted his cat (my son) for $400. This little fucker. Even I don't cost $400.

counting down the days i have left before whenever it is I get shown a blurry photo of 45's dick

In other news no I have not watched too much survivor and also need to get rid of these mushrooms growing out of my watermelon plant, why do you ask

THANKS DUDE defs was not home to myself or millions of my direct family or anything

like you're just fucking around, being an ant, carrying a leaf or someone's leg or something and then suddenly you're engulfed in metal so hot that it doesn't even have to touch you before you frizz out of existence. And then someone hangs it up like a chandelier

u ever think about those scientists who pour molten aluminum down anthills to make casts of the ant tunnels? you ever think about the ants that lived there

My feet are trapped under this dramatic croissant

salt Show more