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I forgot to do an post, did I? I'm Shizu, she/her, gamer, otaku and a Twitch affiliate streamer. I do a bit of graphics, a bit of art, a bit of writing... basically a Jane of many tricks, master of none.

Here I want to do the things that I kept myself from doing on Twitter, and sharing my thoughts is one of that.

:blobcat: Twitch - twitch.tv/shizuyue
:bongoCat: Twitter - twitter.com/shizuyue

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A few drawings from yesterday's twitch session. Those birbs are sketches for a very valued client desperately in need of "smiling parrots waking me when I start school next month".

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The third #lunaugust prompt: Full Moon.

Made of stardust, wishes and dreams.

I've been waiting to do something with the pencil sketch I did last month and this felt like the right time!

The sketch that i did back in July was done following a tutorial which I found really helpful! For anyone who might want to have ago here it is: design.tutsplus.com/tutorials/

#lunaugust #stag #deer #moon #fullmoon #stars #moonlight #moonphases #digitalpainting #prompt #art #celestial #mastoart #creativetoot

Also, completely unrelated to the last Toot, I was anxiously planning to get back my tablet in order to do the art project thing and now that I have it... my brain decided it is super interested in other things. I'm going to have to fight it to control my focus, I just knew it.

I fell into the google search rabbit hole of "fees for sending money locally or internationally" and learned some stuff. Like expensive it can be to transfer money internationally, oh my goodness.

I had plans to work off the art project during the afternoon but a short nap turned into a full cycle of sleep. It helped though, so I guess I was more tired than I acknowledged.

Bought lunch from outside eatery to eat back home, managed to spill its gravy through the reusable bag onto my T-shirt and shorts. All in a day's work, sigh.

Cleared quite a bit of work yesterday and today so feeling much more balanced now. Although I'm a bit nervous about the meeting on thursday to get more work, but it usually goes well so I just need to rmb that.

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The stroke of midnight marked the beginning of my birthday.

I heard a knock at my door and rolled my eyes. The same time last year my friends had surprised me by bringing the party to me.

"Seriously, the same surprise twice?" I asked as I swung the door open.

There was only a scantily clad incubus at my doorstep. His abs shimmered as he stepped forward.

"I have been summoned to grant you your greatest earthly desires."

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Hey, I'm opening space spell commissions ✨
Boosts would be awesome 💙

- A6 original watercolor, any colors/design
- 45€, worldwide shipping included
- upfront payment with paypal

#MastoArt #commissions #CommissionMe #CommissionsOpen

Did a couple hours of work and the stress is greatly reduced.

Much better today. Calmer now. Decided to ignore the stressful thing for today because today is pretty fully scheduled, then tackle it full on tomorrow.

I fucked up and flattened a directory of mp3 files in my impatience and was sorting through them manually (playing them when needed). When I played Linkin Park's Lost in the Echo, all the emotions that slithered back into a dark little corner surged back out and I can't stop crying.

I will be okay. Their songs have always been able to help my mind process things and help me heal.

depression, breakdown 

depression, breakdown 

depression, breakdown 

depression, breakdown 

depression, breakdown 

I have deadlines (flexible ones, non-mandatory ones) and promises but there's precisely one person giving me stress :

Myself

So... I end up battling my brain again. Yay. I think part of it is, I haven't eaten and I can feel the hunger, hear my stomach growling, but i have no desire to go and eat. The logical part of the brain says I should eat, it'll probably help the situation. The rest of the brain says "nahhhh I'm gonna sit here and get more and more miserable".

You know what, the rest of the brain can go and eat the wall. I'm going to get food.

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