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legitimately kind of grossed out by the transition from 'mostly a joke' to 'very serious take' re: following/follower ratio shaming. no one is entitled to attention from you of any kind. cultivate the timeline you want to engage with.

this is a beautiful, pure new place where we aren't caught up in hoarding social capital! we're following back, we're engaging genuinely, it rules. but that doesn't translate to mandated reciprocity.
this is like a hop, skip, and a jump from "socialism means everyone gets assigned a girlfriend" discourse and it's weird as hell.

@socialistdogmom Yeah. I am not curating my ratio I am curating the fact that I cannot keep track of a TL with too many active users and I find no shame in that.

@socialistdogmom a wise celeb once told me: "don't say anything people don't agree with."

think you might want to bear that in mind 😔

just some food for thought🧠

@Fricative oh good, i was worried there wouldn't be assholes offering unsolicited bad advice on this website.

@Fricative @socialistdogmom you seem very strange and I think I will disengage from this conversation now

@ChairmanLMAO @socialistdogmom i don't know but I'm being pretty quick with the block on this one y'all

@ChairmanLMAO @socialistdogmom it's just going to keep happening tbh, irony poisoning is strong and this is an earnest place, but we have to create the environment we want.

@noamsml @socialistdogmom

as we all know celebs are our societies "heroes," like firefighters or EMTs, but even better because they're real

the celebs have a lot of experience with controversy, and one wise one once offered me some great communications device: "never say anything that anyone disagrees with."

@socialistdogmom For sure, I have a few people I know and, uh, have declined to follow back. But I enjoy seeing people employ a calculated strategy to hoard social capital that works on the bird site and doesn't work here.

@socialistdogmom And I think that's natural. You know, as a follower on that site, you're treated as an asset (an audience member to leverage) and not a person, often. And like... idk, "we ain't friends" cuts both ways in that instance.

@some_qualia @socialistdogmom and definitely the more followers the more power you have. easier to report dissenting voices when you have thousands of followers who will do it for you. why most of us are here actually.

@some_qualia @socialistdogmom i agree with all of this. im going to be myself on here but at the same time im trying to keep my follower count really low since it got too high on the bird site.

@socialistdogmom it's so stupid anyway, as soon as this website gets more than a few thousand active users that's going to become impossible. there's always going to be big accounts and smaller ones, there just don't have to be technological incentives pushing virality

@athenogenes @socialistdogmom it's nice that you don't really see boost or fav counts unless you go looking

@athenogenes @socialistdogmom also a lot of us were already big accounts on other websites and frankly can't keep up on all the refollows that come somewhat naturally to accounts people already recognize

@mcmansionhell @athenogenes
if i engaged with everyone who followed me i would literally never leave my computer. my timeline would be unreadable.

@athenogenes @socialistdogmom on smaller instances following isn't such a big deal bc the local feeds are filled with accounts you're probably already interested in, making following more of a chore than a necessity in order to have a coherent feed

@mcmansionhell @athenogenes @socialistdogmom i wish we were all already on our own instance that was set up and linked to as we migrated, but I'm looking forward to seeing what pops up.

@socialistdogmom I feel like it's a holdover from the followback discourse on twitter. Ppl liked to shame smaller accounts for not following back all the time.

@socialistdogmom socialism means the state doesn’t hold anyone back from engaging in their personal development
(and prevents others threatening that development)

i thought “everyone gets a girlfriend” was jordan peterson or something

@socialistdogmom There is vicious competition over social capital here at times - but it’s more like tumblr discourse than Twitter. I’m expecting another outbreak in a few weeks once the wave of new signups dies down.

@socialistdogmom

Aye, the sentiment:

"Follow back, cowards! :P"

vs

"You're bad if you don't follow back"

Is actually very different and the latter is very much not a helpful mindset to have. Though the fact that CWs are a thing here means I'm not as nervous about random stuff on the TL, but good CW culture is still growing.

@socialistdogmom I expect that just like in activist communities, we will always have the risk that broader sociological garbage (along with straight-up abusers) could lead to toxic social prescriptions just like the one you described. I admire you for pushing back against this, and I hope your approach becomes one of the healthy way we all cope with these kinds of problems.

@socialistdogmom real talk I'm by overwhelmed by my feed, and a part of getting on here is that i actually want to see posts by my closer friends. a lack of algorithms legitimately necessitates deeper curation. not following someone isn't an insult or condemnation of their character or anything.

@ohtazer @socialistdogmom i just made a couple of lists this morning and it's great. before it was really overwhelming. i like following back lots of people so i can peer into a less curated experience, but yeah definitely needed lists

@howbluetheanger @socialistdogmom I've always been so bad at lists but i should give them a go here i suppose

@ohtazer @socialistdogmom yeah i never kept up with them on the bird site but on tootdon they're integrated really well and are easier to curate

@ohtazer @socialistdogmom truth is we should have created an exodus instance so everyone was in your local without it being overwhelming, then home is for closest people. Oh well...

@haikukitteh @socialistdogmom yeah that's exactly what i wish had happened but you put it way better than i could!

@ohtazer @socialistdogmom it still could I guess but getting leftists to do things is like herding cats. I’m happy this much was accomplished.

@haikukitteh @socialistdogmom i think it's the kind of thing that our deep habituated desire to not lose followers makes much much harder

@haikukitteh @ohtazer @socialistdogmom lol no one had a clue what an instance was until at least 3 hours after theyd been here

@johnrandom @haikukitteh @socialistdogmom yeah it's the sort of thing that would have required significant forethought tbh. all that would have really changed for migrating users was what instance you were linked to in the beginning. the fact that there wasn't an obvious left twitter centric one was what kept me from signing up this entire last year lol

@socialistdogmom

And like. I have a small account but I completely understand and support your perspective. You have 1500 followers. Who would want to follow that many accounts back?

@SeriouslyWTF right. it doesn't mean i won't engage with people who reply to me, but i don't need to fill my feed with that many people's posts. i want to see posts by my friends.

@socialistdogmom Exactly. We've replied to each other a couple of times, I don't feel like that earns me a follow, OR like I'm missing anything by not having one. It's not like you're ignoring everyone.

@SeriouslyWTF @socialistdogmom it's also not like Twitter which *systemically* games the shit out of what is visible and not from people who reply to a big account

@0xKruzr @socialistdogmom Another great point. We're all on an equal footing here, in our socialist toot-topia

@socialistdogmom Thanks for saying something on this. Let's keep this site social capital-free, people should freely manage their own little mammothspheres and follow back if they want to.

@A_bern Twitter's following "speed bumps" promotes the sense that to not follow back is an insult. That doesn't seem to be the case with Mastodon.
@socialistdogmom

@socialistdogmom *nervously scratching neck, fiddling with dsa membership card* ahaha, but, reAlly, i dO get a girlfriend right

@socialistdogmom I straight up saw the take "If you've got 1000 followers and only follow 25 then YOU'RE NOT A SOCIALIST" a little bit ago and like... literally nothing has ever mattered less in the history of any movement ever, chill.

@socialistdogmom It's reminds me how in middle school we had a "mix it up" day where you were supposed to sit with new people at the cafeteria, but people got too excited and ended up moving to sit with new people every minute or so and not really talking with them, defeating the whole point.

@socialistdogmom my guess is it is as much about personal feeling of slight as it is resentment carried over from the grotesquely hierarchical nature of Twitter. That's not to justify it, it's gross for sure, but I suspect Mastodon's structure isnt different enough to discourage that

@urwitchygothmom @socialistdogmom I saw a take that was like "you might as well be a bot if you have hundreds of followers and only follow like 15" and im like

??? some of us cant handle large interaction???

I barely follow anyone on hellsite but have 1100 followers. cuz, like, interaction is hard lmao.

Ppl are harsh sometimes and I dont like it >.>

@urwitchygothmom @socialistdogmom It's okay we have cool people out here in our corner and that's A+ in my book

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