Pinned toot

on mastodon we are only going to do wholesome dunks

-bofa these arms around you in a hug, friend
-aldis cookies I baked for you
-wendys dog photos are sent

Pinned toot

left twitter? more like 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳

liberals love impeachment so much but you mention the words “john hinkley jr” once and they freak out

calling my divorce hearing a war so that the united states immediately gets involved

if you are wondering how broken liberal twitter is today, there are folks trying to trend hashtag john mccain day to own donald trump

i wish i could say i was joking but i have someone openly supporting pinochet while also saying free speech should never restricted

airdropping trump supporters Lyudmila Pavlichenko’s wikipedia page

gonna have a panic attack.. quick better end this sentence with lmao

i hate mastodon. who the fuck is squid. bitch i’ll kill you

whether you like it or not ronald reagan makes the best argument on abortion. that’s right. ronald reagan should’ve been aborted.

75 years ago: young americans braved nazi fire on beaches to liberate a continent and defend constitutional rights

today: my wife has run off with her boyfriend and has taken our two beautiful kids. if you’re reading this karen, please return my calls

putting a blue stripe on the back of my car to signify i can name three characters from the avatar movie

me: and then they took vape ape away from me. they killed him. in front of me.
actual gorilla: what
me: wait gorillas can talk
gorilla: yeah

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