The fact that the n95 mask fogs up my glasses and makes me run into stuff really counterbalances any chance of it making me look like a ninja

I’m glad dance music is here to ask the tough questions like: “When the beat drops out, will you still be there for me” so relatable.

I expected today to be a flaming garbage pile but this is ridiculous

Just got an email from a company who makes a smart toaster oven. What a time to be alive

Memes and Cards Against Humanity are similar in that:

I liked them a bit when when they were quirky internet people things

They make people who aren’t clever feel like they are saying something clever

and now I’m kind of sick of them

Thanks to the IOT, my new alarm system will have two states: Armed and playing “Disarm” by The Smashing Pumpkins at full volume

Selling holdings which are my life savings to reinvest in a house. This should be fine as long as nobody has provoked a trade war which starts affecting markets today.

Suggested rewrite: Empty storefronts in San Francisco’s Union Square common likely because landlords are charging too much

If at first you don’t succeed, reboot the CI hosts and try again

I think I successfully weathered my jealousy of the people who were in a position to go to XOXO this year. Next time!

Two men calling each other idiots. One quoting from firsthand accounts and one popping off on Twitter. One with a legacy of professionalism and one who is known for lying about verifiable facts. Who do I believe?

To delete your Amazon account:

Go to the Help section, search for "delete my account."

Open the support document, which links to the contact page.

Choose "Prime or Something Else" > "More non-order questions" > "Other non-order questions," enter "I want to delete my account" in the form.

Confirm (via chat) that this what you want to do - and explain why.

Open the link in the email you were sent, which takes you to a page with a form.

Enter "I want to delete my account" in the form.


A tweeting time traveler asks: “Why is the Apprentice guy mad at the head of the Justice Department for not withholding evidence for political purposes?”

More than a little disappointed to learn this doesn’t stand for “Queso”

Having that fancy sock startup send to your office sounds brilliant until you start getting their underwear catalogue _at work_

Finally did the headlands on a clear morning ☀️🚴‍♂️

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