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It was theorized that the internet would eventually evolve into a collective consciousness, where the emotions of one would become the emotions of all. It was in the year 2018, that this would idea would come to fruition, when simultaneously all of Mastodon began to post nothing but wholesome, supportive messages and horny posts behind CW veils.
It was harmony.
It was paradise.
We had reached the next stage.

“Folks” and “y’all” are just a leftist ploy to get rednecks to use gender neutral terminology

If there really is only one electron in the whole universe, we ought to name it. I'm partial to Sparky.

after many moons and much traveling I have arrived at the forbidden city the strange fortune teller told me about. I look around, but something is wrong - where I expected iron eagles and aryan jawlines instead I see the red standard and horses in jorts. the color drains from my face and I let loose a blood curdling scream "where are my conservatives at?" I fall to the ground and yell at a uncaring sky "represent bros!"

but there are no bros to represent. I hear footsteps & my vision goes dark

In this episode a serial killer is killing the first born child of Gotham’s richest citizens and I’m not rooting for the cops to stop him.

Honestly now I kinda just want to play a massive match with a lot of big tooters from here playing as various instances for domination of the fediverse.

thinking about migrating to, any thoughts?

Columbus Day was invented as a way for Italian-Americans to celebrate their heritage. As an Italian-American, I say FUCK Columbus Day. How about a tiramisu, cappuccino, and hanging fascists day? That I could get behind.

what idiot called it a swordsman and not an edgelord

Furiously refreshing my notifications for more dopamine

@realmaxkeeble "Hello, I would like one job please. My current employers would tell you how good I am at this kind of job, but I'm keeping this a secret from them so they don't take my livelihood from me, so you'll just have to sort of hope I'm telling the truth.

If I get this job I will just leave that one very suddenly, making everything harder for everyone. That's also how I will end up leaving this job one day."

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