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real writing one last handwritten note to talk your partner out of leaving you forever hours, who up

i woke up at 0615 because someone in my dream had told me "go ahead and pee it's fine" and my brain knew that this was not an ok thing to do

WELCOME TO MY FUCKING TED TALK HERE'S EIGHT REASONS YOU SHOULD ACQUIESCE TO EXCLUSIVITY WITH MY TERRIFIED ASS

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WELCOME TO MY FUCKING TED TALK HERE'S EIGHT REASONS YOU SHOULD ACQUIESCE TO EXCLUSIVITY WITH MY TERRIFIED ASS

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hi i'm newly single and badly confused

it's been 5 years since i had to start dating anyone

how does it work do i just yell at people until they date me or what

what has two thumbs and is suddenly single as of 40 minutes ago?

👍 THIS SKELETON 👍

i fuckin hate harley davidsons and the whole manufactured-ass bullshit toxic culture behind/around them

so it stands to reason that i absolutely loathe being cubicle neighbors with someone whom not only rides a HD and wears HD shirts all the time and has HD wall calendars in his gross cubicle (despite almost dying a couple years ago when he wrecked his brand new 2-week old HD) but whom has a poorly-made recording of a loud-ass HD starting up AS HIS FUCKIN TEXT MESSAGE ALERT

super good and cool to find out today my dad is going to have a heart procedure tomorrow, just really excellent

cannot think of a better time for this to happen than when my romantic relationship of 4+ years is in danger of ending

everything is so so great

i can see from the upstairs window that i've accidentally left the dome light on my car, which is out in the driveway

real "do i leave it on anyway and hope the battery is dead in the morning so i have an excuse not to go to work and instead stay home and mope/daydrink" energy hours

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on the bright side i have scheduled my very first counseling session next week, and i am actually kind of excited

i have a list of things to go over with my new counselor:

1. how to best approach things with my partner in a way that leads to us staying together

2. more importantly, whether i actually think that's worth the effort all things considered

3. do i carry any unresolved shit re: my parents' divorce? that manifests in current relationships???? and

4. body image shit, i've chomnk

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meanwhile my dad is getting a consultation for his heart MRI tomorrow and i mean [gestures animatedly at the rest of the american political landscape] all of THIS is going on

so it's extra fuckin with me to feel so messed-up about my own personal relationship problems like i'm the protagonist in my own story or something

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hello to no one in particular, and welcome to what i'm repurposing as my sadthoughts masto blog

i'm in a v weird place bc my partner thinks that only by leaving me can they focus on healing from past traumas, and it is a fuckin trip for sure

so natch i'm self-medicating w/ bourbon & kitty pets, and it's fuckin with me just as bad that kitty is going on 12yo and i can feel her bones when i pet her

nothing lasts, i guess is what i'm saying, and everything good that ever existed ends in tears

surely this doesn't need to be said but young mothers who walk shoeless from el salvador to the united states carrying their five-month-old baby to seek a better life are absolutely fucking braver than the fucking troops

very few things get me spiritually hornt like lady justice + statue of liberty sexytime memes full stop

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