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It might be ten years since that WWDC skit, but Apple of 2024 is perfectly happy to attack developers too.
We all know Apple is anticompetitive and abusive, except for Apple.
"Today, developers compete on a level playing field on the App Store” is 1,000% an outright lie. Apple's apps are on the App Store (& preloaded), you have to compete with them, and they do not play by or adhere to the rules everybody else has to. They also don't have to pay Apple a % off the top.