I wish it was more of a Thing to just move into a house with a bunch of friends after college

Absolutely crazy to think that I would be allowed to just create tiny people and be trusted to raise them into functional human beings

*reading the instructions on a bag of Soylent* It's a cookbook!

I'm going to picket the Unicode Consortium to make :party_parrot: a standard emoji

If I had a dollar for every time I got hit because I expected Link to still have his grappling hook, I'd have like eight dollars.

I should put "encyclopedic knowledge of internet bigots" on my resume

Carly Rae Jepsen with a sword for Smash Ultimate

hot technology take Show more

Weak: Roy's our boy! Roy's our boy!
Fleek: Chrom's our mom! Chrom's our mom!

Smash Ultimate is literally unplayable Show more

Pulled an absolute gamer power play yesterday and traded in RDR2 for Katamari Reroll

The garbage men in my neighborhood really live up to their name by coming at 2 AM every fucking day

Is Deliberately-Answers-Rhetorical-Questions Guy a subcategory of Reply Guy or an entirely separate species?

Getting called the fuck out by Mint about my "unusual spending on electronics and software"

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