i failed on my first dream of becoming the first professional baseball player with terminal ibs so i'm achieving my 2nd closest dream: having the worst brain alive

i took my inability to become a professional baseball player as a personal slight from the universe and i look to avenge myself by instead making the world a worse place


if you're not good at something you better be bad at everything, that's the drive that burns through my fighting spirit

@cosmicevan the way i jack off all trades is my business and no one elses

@ItsJenNotGabby to be fair we have a similarly inescapable posting spirit

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