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A lot of shitheads online pretend to be persecuted and crucified like Jesus was but I'm the only one of them who is constantly in a crucifixion pose due to my gangly body and bad posture due to the weight of my hog

As a child I bled from the palms of my hands from an unknown source following a powerful game of Ping Pong, and for this reason you can know my word is gospel

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