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museum tour guide, with shy scholarly enthusiasm: this is one of the oldest discovered stegosaurus plates that cavemen used as a baseball diamond. if you look closely, you can see the fossilized scuffs from cleats

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lobster in the middle of getting a divorce: you're such a fucking rubber band

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Real friends are the biggest cryptid of all

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willingness to drink olive brine isn't a personality trait, but willingness to tell people about it sure is

flight rising: a fun thing to do is "exalt" dragons, which means they go away to fight glorious battles on another plane :)

me, someone who's read The Giver: how about not though

but I would walk 500 miles
and I would walk 500 more
just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
to close the god damn door
no, it's much better to face these
kinds of things
with a sense of poise and rationality

without fail:

me: clicks the puzzle game on fight rising

me: starts to put the puzzle together without looking at the preview image

me: oh my god is it a dragon

a sapient bee society would have a word for "person (bee) i hate so much i would sting them and die"

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Truly wild that singular they/them pronouns are apparently harder to incorporate into some people’s lexicon than the word “staycation”

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hey! been having a few financial hiccups recently, so commissions are OPEN!!

fill out the form at this link (sherm.link/com) or DM if interested - the doodle sheets below are $30

any sharing helps, thanks! :~) #art #commissions

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one day I'll just be a cloud of eyes and then you'll all really think I'm cute

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in honor of trans day of visibility, i will be destroying reality as you know it

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When will they release a more simple, user friendly version of gender?

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i'm thinking its a massive shame i don't have an orbit of eyeballs all around me that spot shiny pieces of metal in the gutter and nothing else

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