I am so privileged to have a secure job right now, and enough income for ongoing expenses. I am taking the coming week off work.
I had hoped, a month ago, next week would have long walks, beaches, woods, galleries, concerts, a resto and a cafe. It’s gonna have reading, meditation, quiet, as little time out of our eight hundred feet as we can be settled with.
I am still learning how to pandemic. It sucks. Here we are. Let’s survive, and live while we do that.
I do not wish death, especially horrific death, on anyone. These fuckers who don’t understand the guidelines ought to be law, sometimes I think man if they could feel the consequences of their choices directly...
But I can’t know who is at the end of their ability to cope and who is fine with rules as long as they can break ´em with impunity. I just want as many people as possible to live through this, starting with the people who have special meaning to me, and their loves.
I could get snooty and say I isolate up for:
- my mum who is in lockdown in elder care, indefinitely
- my disabled close relatives
- my loved ones with poor and/or managed mental health
- my partner’s dodgy lungs
- the ER doc in my choir
- my nurse neighbour
- my retired ICU nurse sister
- and so on
It’s not that, not mainly.
I am doing my best to follow public health leaders because they know this shit and want to save our piteous lives. All of us, if they could.
I wear a mask and gloves when I go out, and I don’t go out every day though my body craves the activity.
Enough people come within contagion distance of me that I assume I may be a carrier. I live in a dense part of a big city and there are a few clueless and assholes. If I end up dead but not taking dozens with me, it’s a consolation.
Every danger vector I have met to date is white, adult, more male-presenting than not. Most are in consensus reality.
These one week old baby raccoons were found by a shed, out in the open, crying out for their mother. The finder waited all day to see if mom would return for them but she did not. Babies this young can not go very long without mom & can not maintain their body heat on their own..
People whose words have societal weight are slap fighting about masks on birdsite.
At this point in Toronto I have no idea why a random person on the street or in a store as a shopper is or isn’t wearing a mask. I don’t know what a random, briefly seen mask’s effectiveness is, or if it is stealing from health care or retail workers.
Two months ago I assumed a person wearing a mask had a cold and didn’t want to pass it on, or might be immune compromised.
Emergency alert for Ontario went off to warn travellers they are considered at high risk of being carriers and should self-isolate for 14 days.
Expecting social media to have the usual Amber Alert set of reactions plus many « I did not read the first line that says it only applies to travellers and am offended at the level of authoritarianism !!1! »
Today has been Thursday. Sleep then a Friday.
I have goals for tomorrow. Stretchy goals. The kind that scale to what you realize in the moment is work well accomplished under the circumstances.
Maybe the grocery store will have eggs and yogurt and bananas.
Maybe I will have some good executive function time.
Social distancing? More like social butterfly this week.
Monday: read and/or video games
Tuesday: visit my old Toastmasters club in Zoom
Wednesday: after work social with the usual suspects in Zoom, BYOB
Thursday: after work social time with current project colleagues in MS Teams
Friday: family movie night, probably Netflix
But first this important cat. Who has decided I am his furniture.
State of the cat Vash. He is getting used to me being home all the time, but his world is noting high levels of anxiety in the household. Intermittent moops and calls to do something, don’t know what, just something. Fix it.
Sometimes he goes out into the hall and sits outside the door where there are two dogs just to make them bark.
Picked up Dignam’s book Brave New Work this evening, having found enough brain left over for learning. The past week has been a long month, reminiscent of the months trying to help K and flailing into a major depressive episode.
There are ideas in here that could serve the NRC very well if I can articulate them well enough for my VP level boss to see. Especially in the current circumstances.
But I need to make myself focus. « Read this » is not helpful in this case.
Spewing my opinion on the internet since the early 80s. Music, cats, intersectional feminism, ITSM. National Research Council give me small pay deposits.
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