finnegan beginagain @the_erlkonig@mastodon.social

hi things are,,, bad, if anyone has nice things it would be . good to hear them.

well fuck

a while ago i was like 'nah i dnt have too much genital dysphoria' but today im just thinking continuously about that tweet about watching a pack of wolves eat ur bio junk like, nice, yes, lets do that

why do you have literally zero self awareness

my mom is reading a thing for a book club right now called like, braving the wilderness or something, and just had a conersation with me about the first bit of the book where the author talks about the hardest place to not belong being your family and like, yeah? uh huh? is that so becky?
wow I wonder what it must be like to feel like an outsider being asked to fit in with pre-decided interests and hobbies and modes of being, that must suck!! a whole bunch!!!!!

i love !!! to have panic attacks for no discernible reason!!!!

ok time to mute hashtag me too bc it's honestly extremely difficult to navigate around without panic attacks 👉😎👉

i woke up with my head already in the middle of thinking about the importance of content that explores rape and assault and trauma and. i need to write it down before it escapes but also. idk if i can put it on twitter bc ive seen what happens to people who don't subscribe to common thinking on the subject (it's bad and shouldn't exist) and. i don't wanna deal with that. but it's IMPORTANT.

bluhhhh

had a weird and very detailed dream in which my cat was still alive but also all kinds of other neighborhood pets were wandering into my house and confusing me including: an owl, a very rare turtle, two other black cats, and a giant main coon

my cat was there and my boyfriend was there and my mother called me by the right name and pronouns and the minute she did i knew it was wrong

i'm framing a jersey for shapiro who i think is an actual Sports Man on our Hockey Sports Team and this is wasted on me, a sport hating trans gay, and also god do i hate making shadow boxes these are the worst my fingertips will have t pin shaped indents for the next ten years

me: oh yea i have a twelve hour work day friday haha death is coming amirite
also me: deliberately gets like four hours of sleep

every time andi posts a selfie i die

yr girl is homesick for cohabitation and i dont wanna have my whole marshmallow ass out on twitter but: i miss. the meals we used to make together, kissing them goodbye at the door in sleepwear and curling back into the warmth they left in bed when they go to class, shoes lined up by the door, the comfort of sitting near someone while you both work on your own shit, getting to wash someone else's hair,,,,,,,,,

sitting here eating the same lunch as i have the last week thinking about how punishing your kids for not finishing their food or not liking something creates a mindset where new food and experiences are panic inducing and eating in general is a source of shame and anxiety, nice, good, awesome

this probably isn't a universal experience, i should probably tag this

notes to self: wax is a good sensory anchor

HEY HOLY SHIT DID TENDER'S WEIRD CLOUD HITCHHIKER JUST FUCKING RESURRECT BELLEGARDE

my pack n play came in the mail today and??? it's SO MUCH BIGGER than my cute little masho jesus christ wow, this is, wild, im delighted and mildly terrified, gender

i just got an announcement over my earpiece saying that one of my coworkers is now known as jay and i'm??? hyperventilating????? it could be that easy?????? it could just be???5$/5 easy?????????

also i don't know how the fuck this kid is but i need to find em

you would think a small dog would be reassuringly similar to a cat to share a bed with but he is not and i am not reassured i am just. sad. and lonely.

(climbing out onto the roof widlyl to shout at the mailmain) IS ONE OF THOSE MY DICK