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A medieval painting portraying the flaws of twitter and the users eventual flight to Mastodon, turning their tweets into toots.

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Social democrats trying to find solutions to capitalism's inherent contradictions.

I talked to my friend. I am not fond of this.

— Ast Ometzulban, bookkeeper

Every night as I go to bed, I think I need to get a better blanket, then in the morning, as I cast my awful blanket aside, it is the furthest thing from my mind.

Why would I need a blanket now, it is morning?

And so, I go for months, with my awful, inadequate blanket.

getting my fubes shaved outside the chip shop to own the libs

Ah periodic anxiety spikes, good times. You have to love it.

"I'm missing *time*!" my girlfriend exclaims. I know she's just talking about a scheduling thing for work, but in my head I'm already writing a science fiction neonoir.

Carefully painting a stylized shark mouth and eyes on the sides of my dick like a P-40 Warhawk

My dog does not fear fireworks, he charges out at them and tells them to be silent, then trots arrogantly around in the pauses between as though he, through force of will, has brought peace to the land.

Got a scolding because I’ve apparently been “rude” at work and hurt some feelings. Can think of maybe two instances where I was short with someone being an ass hole, one of which apparently enough for them to snitch to my boss. Love job’s.

Going to be one of those days where I'm just pointlessly anxious, huh? Fun.

I don't know which of you I saw today, but one of you was on my street.

You common cry of curs! whose breath I hate
As reek o' the rotten fens, whose loves I prize
As the dead carcasses of unburied men
That do corrupt my air, I cancel you;
And here remain with your uncertainty!
Let every feeble rumour shake your hearts!
Your enemies, with nodding of their plumes,
Fan you into despair! Have the power still
To cancel your defenders; till at length

TCP: signed-for postal delivery
UDP: "THINK FAST, FUCKO *throws crate at front door*"

People need to stop emailing me today, my anxiety is too high.

2019 news stories all read like they were generated by a learning robot

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