Pinned toot
Pinned toot
Pinned toot

i'm collecting social media accounts to put in my infinity gauntlet

long time no talk, tootuals. im v zooted rn 🤙

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hey gamers! dont forget to wipe ur ass after u shit!

Jade™ boosted
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i'll post my birth chart if you promise to blame all my personal failings on the stars

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I really wish I hadn’t sent the hackers.town admin all my nudes and social security number and DNA test results.

Jade™ boosted

people always ask me "hey, are you an undercover cop?" 😒

they never ask "HOW are you, an undercover cop?" ☺️

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forming a new revolutionary vanguard of the proletariat, to "Cancel" the capitalist class

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Walking the fine line between shit poster and bad poster

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smoke: he works for the fbi
joke: he doesn't work for the fbi and you are overreacting
woke: someone who would willingly and PROUDLY support the FBI in any material way, especially in order to "expedite the timely exchange of information and promote mutual learning opportunities" when the feds have pushed themselves into so many leftist spaces in the past and continue to do so to this day is NOT to be trusted even if they aren't "A Real Cop" or whatever

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the less comprehensible your toot is, the more influencer it is

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me: well my apartment is pretty messy right now but it's not like i have anyone to impress lol

my future employer, all of my high school crushes, my girlfriend's mom and two sitting U.S. Senators: hey i'm in town mind if i come over for a bit?

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hmm i'm a white cishet man, i think i'll go online and tell people that the feds are good actually

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