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Dr. Seuss, Dildo mention 

So like...

You've probably seen that photoshop'd Dr. Seuss image from Hop On Pop, where they have Pat, who sits on stuff and is about to sit on a cactus in the original, except the cactus has been replaced with a Seuss-style dildo, and it says, "NO PAT NO, DON'T SIT ON THAT,"

And I'm like...

Leave Pat alone, dammit! Don't kinkshame Pat! If Pat wants a dildo up his ass, let him push a dildo up his ass in peace. There's nothing wrong with that. Pat knows what he likes.

TIRED: Ugh, Mastodon is mostly Japanese now. How do I filter it out?
WIRED: Ugh, Mastodon is mostly Japanese now. Guess I'll learn Japanese.

Does anyone else remember Legend of Legaia?

I loved that game.

Americans are Ferengi and they're too stupid to know they're Ferengi.

Rules of Acquisition #33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

I've come to the heartbreaking realization that if I want to succeed in my career in corporate America, I need to become intimately familiar with the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition and at least pretend to believe them while at work.

The thought of this is soul crushing.

Also all instances should adopt toot.cat's columns. These ones are just too tiny

lewd? 

I'm gonna kiss your eyes.
Then I'm gonna kiss your neck.
Then I'm gonna kiss your tummy.
Then I'm gonna kiss your 🍍!

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your butt
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that, though
Now you're just some bepis that I used to now

some BEPIS
(that I used to know)

Some BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

SHE WAS LO

Imagine all the bepis
living
for todaaaaaaay hey heeee~ee~ee~eey

you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only butts

lewd 

I'm on snapchat to tell my wife how thirsty I am

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