RT @amcnal@twitter.com

if you die suddenly in your home, then after a couple days all of your funko pops will start eating your face

🐦🔗: twitter.com/amcnal/status/1183

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

*places carnivorous plant in the airport security tray*

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/11

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

On my way to my high school reunion and passed a car on fire. This is a bad omen.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/67

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

in the words of reel big fish, i think ill have myself a beer

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/11

doing this again because regular maintenance is important

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

calmly seasoning an iron skillet

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/10

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

@MassGovernor@twitter.com Charlie Baker retire bitch

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/87

actually, the creator's name is Dr. Labradoodle

RT @BBCNews@twitter.com

Labradoodle creator says it's his 'life's regret' bbc.in/2mETIea

🐦🔗: twitter.com/BBCNews/status/117

scully and mulder investigating the Piper Maru in season 3 episode 15

RT @realDonaldTrump@twitter.com

PLENTY OF OIL!

🐦🔗: twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/st

RT @BernieSanders@twitter.com

I want to thank Rahm Emanuel for not endorsing me. I don’t want the endorsement of a mayor shutting down schools and firing teachers.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/BernieSanders/stat

RT @ByYourLogic@twitter.com

Pete Buttigieg is Agent Smith if The Matrix was built around LinkedIn. incredible stuff

🐦🔗: twitter.com/ByYourLogic/status

in college i made a crisp $100 by running through a maze and i even got some cheese at the end, it shocked me a little but all good👍

RT @Nicole_Cliffe@twitter.com

Hands up if you did a bunch of weird medical/psychological tests in exchange for money in college. I had...so many electrodes on my head.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/stat

RT @thmsbrns@twitter.com

dog “army crawled” under a bunch of fences today. thinking he’s ready for basic combat training

🐦🔗: twitter.com/thmsbrns/status/10

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