Toby Click @tobyclick@mastodon.social

Driving through Nebraska is like driving through a Jerry Bruckheimer production company logo.

Thoughts before a road trip…

A religious person can wake up and face every day saying: "All RIGHT! God's got this! Whatever happens, He is in control, and when this is over, it’s gonna be JUST FINE!"

Atheists do not have this comfort. No promise that all will be well. No assurance that good can or will overcome evil, or that justice will prevail in the end. No reward waiting at the finish line.

Yet, they still wake up and face every day ANYWAY. Being atheist doesn't mean you are a bad person. It means you are a BADASS.

The Nest thermostat has an ECO mode for efficiency. I think it should have an IDGAF mode, which tells it: "Just cool off the damn house, IDGAF whether anyone is home, or how much it costs."

Come Try And Take It https://instagram.com/p/Bki6gSJnjUM/

Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/27/jim-bakker-god-personally-told-me-he-sent-donald-trump-to-delay-the-end-times/

I um... totally didn't get this from one of those other social networks I'm totally not reading anymore.

For my 80th birthday party, I will have a pirate theme. Just so I can pop out and say, "Aye Matey!!!"

I think gay Republicans may well be the most insufferable kind.

"My name is Blaine, my interests include skiing, kayaking, and quisling..."

I got sunburned in a tank top during Pride. What I have now is not a farmer’s tan. It is a tan like a supporting character from “King of the Hill“.

When your rug is so filthy you don’t want to post pictures of your cat playing on it, it’s time to clean house.

By the way, I will probably get more political on here. I have self-imposed hiatuses on T*****r and F******k, which I mostly kept apolitical. But I just can't sit back and post pictures of kittens while America is burning.

If you think "They only target the brown people, I'll be safe!" you're living in Ding Dong Land.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have Wolverine claws.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call it PTSD, but I have a violent reaction to loud, sudden noises. Can’t be helped. If the smoke alarm goes off while I’m cooking, I scream, and move to smash it with my bare hand. A few minutes later, after the battery’s out, I’ll sit, afraid of myself, wondering what happened in my past to make me like that. I know it must scare my husband, and especially the pets, and for that I can only say I’m sorry.

The tri-color foam at the car wash is pansexual.

Every time I am sitting in a theater, and hear bass rumbling in the screen next door, I imagine that they’re watching the water cup scene in JURASSIC PARK.

I never use the phrase "no worries", because (1) it's seldom true, and (2) I am not a waitress at Outback.

This sentence contains every letter of the alphabet...
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

This one does too...
Sphinx of blackest quartz, judge my vow!

Good: having a street, school, or asteroid named after you.

Bad: having a disease or law named after you.