Pinned toot

@em @vegetablegremlin elon musk should have been in that tesla car that was launched into space

Deltarune spoilers Show more

Deltarune spoilers Show more

datemate trying to explain computers to me: so this is what's called an adder
me: like the snake?

me, to my brother: datemate was teaching me about adders
brother: like the snake?

if student debt cancellation happened after i paid off my student loans, i would be happy, because im not a fucking shithead who demands that the entire world revolve around me and i can be happy for other people getting a fair deal

i love my disgusting, gruesome wife. i love her terrible curves, never the same form as the last time i'm drawn to her silhouette.

i love my eldritch, omnipresent wife because she lives in my head and reminds me what to get at the store. she also tells me who would be an easy kill.

i love my wife because she eats the flowers i get her the first day she has them instead of eating them after they rot like i assume most other girls do.

My GCC keeps staring staring at me and saying “what’re you doin’?”

Under communism there is only one dick and we all have to share

Why does my voice practice go better when I’m ranting about the importance of unions instead of reading a random passage from a book

*nervously interviewing for farmer job*

“I know all about crops and...”

*looks at smudged writing on hand*

“NUTTRIENTZ?”

boost if you're rotating 3D shapes in your mind

Show more
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!