@trwnh it took me so long to learn this and now people are upset that I do it and Im just like, buddy,,,it could be so much worse
@ItsJenNotGabby i feel like i take it too far in the other direction by constantly renegotiating and second guessing and self doubting and being very verbal about all of this which can be A Lot
but i appreciate being told things explicitly because god knows i can't figure it out on my own, my brain is a liar and will assume the worst unless otherwise specified
@trwnh strong same with the brain thing. I am trying to lead by example in all my relationships by doing it more often, because it IS hard and scary. You're being extremely vulnerable by sharing those things because it means people can choose to ignore them and hurt you. Also, a sure way to never get the things you want or need is to keep those things to yourself
@trwnh and btw, idk that I would say "second guessing" and "renegotiating" are bad thinga. It is good to check in with yourself and see "is this still what I really need? Or is it something else??" Because brains can be liars and obfuscate truths very deeply
@trwnh i feel like 99+% of hetero couples need this advice
@trwnh I feel called out ... Though I become aware of the reason why I can't, which is usually the first needed step to overcome it
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