Its possible for a joke to be ao funny that it becomes Im funny. I think thats whats putting people off

I was looking for my phone. I saw my phone got a notification and I ignored it, thinking "I cant waste time on my phone, I am looking for my phone"

I am in a private signal group for a gardening collective and someone wanted to vote on an idea. I thought this was sorta neat. hadn’t seen anyone do this in a chat before.

Does anyone know which Mastodon apps support the sign-up API by now?

IT guys at work be like

> "So there's this social network called "Mastodon". Let's block it so the workers don't slack off"
> *adds joinmastodon.org to the firewall*

:blobfoxgoogly:

I dont care about your opinion I just want your praise.

@presentcorrect@twitter.com:

This is why it's called an eggplant.

In the mid 18th C the plant bore white/yellow fruit, rather than the more common purple that we see today.

I never learned the meaning of 'lewd' I just know it's dirty

Identity is or should be meaningless on a societal level. Indivually, it is the only source of meaning.

Data will be the currency of the future. It actually has inherent value, dependent on trust.

I love postmodern writing. The term itself is useless. Perhaps its a perfect name for a thing that resists any attempts for definition

The US constitution is versioned with git. We may need to cherry pick ammendents from other countries. Unfortunately the histories diverged quite some time ago

The term Postmodernism accurately captures its pretentiousness. It's just a tad bit more arrogant than Enlightment, but at least the latter describes how it's different than what was before.

There are 12 notes in music, 12 strings on this guitar. Hmm...

funny (not) how on 99.9% of discourses about artists pricing, there will never be a single mention that maybe the problem is the lack of UBI.

There's a certain trick of language. You start with a word that describes an extreme. Define it as a measure. Now, everything can be described by that word.

Example. Define beauty to be the amount of beauty something has. Then, everything is beautiful.

fuckin political correctness stopping me from shitting in the middle of this walmart

Idea for research project. Do condoms stop the spread of covid 19?

A web developer falls asleep in a train. As the train goes and each car's wheels make the characteristic double thud, the developer has a nightmare:
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