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The length vs girth debate is about whether you're resistant to piercing or bludgeoning damage

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Proud to say that after months of strict diet and exercise I now fit into a small condom.

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You can tell by the way I use my walk

I've got haemorrhoids, no time to talk

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Imagine if the wigs judges wear had been updated as wig technology improved like you're in court for a parking ticket and it looks like a fucking hair metal cover band

In which I fuck up a tomato sauce so bad, an italian man falls to his death.

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Hey I'm Ndoro Alisan and I'm here to say
The Rumor Come Out: Does Bruno Mars Is Gay?

Who wants to give me a big kiss? Well fuck off, weirdo, these lips are for Christ

Safe sex is like learning to ride a bike: The condoms are your stabilisers and you're meant to take it off when you get good at it.

Safe sex is like learning to ride a bike: The condoms are your stabilisers and you're meant to take it off when you get good at it.

No streams on Tuesday or Friday this week, completely forgot to mention that when I did up the schedule

Told my wife she looked nice yesterday before we went out and she called me a simp

Who wants to give me a big kiss? Well fuck off, weirdo, these lips are for Christ

In which I fuck up a tomato sauce so bad, an italian man falls to his death.

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everyone always complains about reddit being full of annoying and pedantic fucks but let's not forget about tumblr people who will turn shitposts in fucking essays because they're worried that me, the reader, wouldn't understand the subtle nuances and references of a peepee poopoo joke

Hey I'm Ndoro Alisan and I'm here to say
The Rumor Come Out: Does Bruno Mars Is Gay?

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