Pinned toot

ok y'all i made an account where im gonna be a real human being instead of a dinosaur professor screaming about drinking strange fluids, @velexiraptor, follow for selfies and wisdom and me being a sad gay

Pinned toot

making the move from this acct official, now redirects properly!

how long until someone posts the entirety of Worm, 500 characters at a time

grendel is just one letter off from gender. coincidence? i think not

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

lesbians i love yall but why are we all so fucking clueless

fully admitting i follow ppl bc that's the closest thing to flirting i can do before my brain shuts down

it's energy nutt wednesday because both time and memes have lost all meaning

i wonder what optional addons i can get for my coochie

there were likely gay dinosaurs. that is all.

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

@velexiraptor "I suppose you'll want a drink?" she mumbled, barely able to meet his eyes, he smelled like the mistake he was, ashen and rugged, smirking hysterically, curse those baby blues.

"I'm not here to romance you, Stephanie" the clinking of the glasses she was drying almost sounded as distant as the busy midnight streets down below.

She turned, enraged, mystified, "what do you want, Bill?"

"Steph, I've come to make you tiny origami people out of orange cardboard"

"what?"

Lexi :blobpats: boosted
Lexi :blobpats: boosted

find a girl that makes your princess parts wiggle

don't mind me, just punching myself in the face for being a garbage fire of a human being

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

retoot this and I'll type a very small story out for you

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

He has 70,000 teeth, and everything he says comes true. he is a Euclid-class SCP, and he is loose.

Lexi :blobpats: boosted
Lexi :blobpats: boosted

hey remember when selfagency said the N-word? it's true and it definitely happened. no i don't have proof. it was several months ago and everyone's forgotten that i got conclusively proven wrong so i'm going to bring it up again. give me those callout clout BOOSTS

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

i've been shadowbanned by the nobel peace prize committee every fucking year and it ends now

Lexi :blobpats: boosted

I scratch a new notch in my keyboard each time I make a bitch log off

ok google how do i summon more tiddy into my tiddies

Lexi :blobpats: boosted
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