Pinned toot

referring to my husband as "the guy I'm still married to"

apparently when you breed a reptile with a new pattern and color you get to name it whatever you want

the democrats are going to nominate Cory Booker in 2020 and his campaign manager will be an app amd they're going to lose to Donald Trump's head sewed onto Barron's shoulder even though he spends every campaign speech playing on a DS

if I'm gonna read something by a guy with 3 names he better be a serial killer

my wifi is disconnected and I can't watch videos about snakes on YouTube so I thought I'd play the Sims 4 but looks like all I can play rn is the dinosaur game

I'm waiting for some 16 year old to find out about Strangers With Candy from Stephen Colbert's imdb page and try to cancel him and anyone who likes his late night show now

my mom still has this magnet with some great vintage Vron pics on the refrigerator

feminists who rally against catcalling are exclusionary towards women who don't leave the house

relaxing on my fainting couch after my diagnosis with posters wrist. which one of you worms wants to type my thoughts for me

in Sims 4 you can put up a wall decal of lesbian bunnies in wedding dresses

I usually try to have a selfie in my pinned tweet because 1) it's emotional labor 2) people can see I'm a broad and can't cancel me for doing misogyny

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