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Obsessions by platform

Facebook: Baby it's cold outside
Twitter: Baguette samurai sword
Tumblr: Killing itself
Mastodon: Jon Arbuckle

I think this is supposed to be transphobic but it's really just radical

Dating Profile: I voted for Hillary Clinton twice.

Me: I'll remember that when you judge me for liking Tron: Legacy and Terminator: Salvation.

Remember when Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule did a song called I'm Real but only Lopez said those words? Makes you think.

There is also the girl who rejected me six years ago for not driving. I'm not drunk enough to say, "HOW HAVE ALL THOSE DODGE SHADOW BOYS TREATED YOU OVER THE YEARS" but give me a minute

Facebook Dating App: take a trip down memory lane and see all the people you rejected back in 2015 before you deleted your PlentyOfFish account.

If you ever wanted to meet a bunch of people convinced they can read any room but couldn't find their pisshole if asked, check the comments on any Mad Men video on youtube.

Moderates on Twitter shut the fuck up real fast for criticizing your support of antifa when you mention that you're a second generation concentration camp survivor.

You ever goto church just to see if you can still successfully flirt with Catholic girls until they find out you're Satan?

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