having a puppy makes me miss this girl so much. I definitely have some anxiety too. Cinder is bonding to me and it's freaking me out a little. It's also clear that Cin has had a great first few months of life (with her mom in PR, with her littermates, now with us at an early but not too early age) which Laika presumably did not (all guesses though).

puppy has started the biting. now I will walk around with chew toys in my pocket for exchange of my ankle for a fake piece of wood.

sometimes I think people use my inability to leave a mystery unsolved when they email me work questions. i blame scooby doo and encyclopedia brown and nancy drew and tom swift. i swear

made it. got peed on, poop covered, licked. puppy survived her two hours of solo crate time.

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been up for three hours, no coffee, can't bring myself to open the coffee energy drink I have, daydreaming about just going back to sleep instead of to my volunteer shift. "oops overslept"

today at lunch she decided I was also a dog and play bowed at me 😭☠️ so cute

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yes, she's cute. and Hesh is SO HAPPY. the smile on his face when she plays with him is the very best. he just loves other dogs.

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sleep, food, outside relax time where I'm not responsible for a tiny animal just learning.

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hello I am so stressed out I'm just crying all the time cool. i just got two major work projects on my plate with ridiculous timelines and I'm glad I'm not on the schedule at the shelter after tomorrow morning because I simply do not have the time. finally found time to sit on the lanai and eat lunch and the puppy slept in her crate from 2-7 uninterrupted so I'm doing a little better.

I wish I wasn't so effective when I'm so stressed out.

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the combination of low sleep, work stress, puppy things has me on the edge of tears all day. so I'm having extra caffeine, I am sure that will help.

after two hours she jumped on me and whined because she needed to go out to pee (better than the alternative). an hour and change after that, spouse got up and both dogs woke up and barked at the noise, so we were up again. then he came to bed and everyone went to sleep. 😴

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low bar, maybe, but that was success.

when spouse came to bed at 0300, he put her in her crate and she went right to sleep.

I'm convinced it's his snoring.

tonight I just put her on the bed and that's good enough. because sleep.

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I've successfully crate trained a ton of dogs who loved their crate. Last night the puppy screamed in her crate and I do not want it to be a negative experience for her. I pulled her out and we tried a few other things, more screaming, at which point it was 0130 and I had gotten up at 0600. I gave up in spite of myself and just put her on the bed with me.

she moved down to my feet, curled up into a ball, and went to sleep. my other dog curled up near but not TOO near her. we all slept.

at least puppy makes me laugh. I still believe am not ready for a puppy but I'm eminently responsible and she's very cute and smart and Hesh is really REALLY enjoying having a dog to play with again. (which was spouse's argument for a puppy on top of his wanting a puppy)

a good article about the agonizing decision to choose behavioral euthanasia for a fearful pet beagle with a lengthy bite history, also includes quotes from the veterinary behaviorist we consulted with over the years.

slate.com/human-interest/2021/

I caught the keynotes at o11ycon today, which were great, but haha it's just so irrelevant to my current company and what we do. I find myself wanting to incorporate o11y into our systems but since the most critical business important ones are actually someone else's code, we don't truly own them, and it limits what we can do. This isn't really what I thought this job was going to be (I still have the jobdesc, it is not the same, but some of that is because I'm business and people focused).

cw - general relationship frustration 

yes ACTUALLY I do know more about my! own! health! issue! than you do, and suggesting that I'm just correcting you to ??? make you less? is ridiculous and maybe you should go to fucking therapy.

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