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Cashier at a bagel shop: “Can I get an everything toasted?”

Guy on his first day: *gets out flamethrower*

Facebook is the least trusted tech company, for handling personal data: fortune.com/2018/11/08/mark-zu

I have been wondering: how quickly could a site like Facebook die? I think it could happen very quickly, if there were an alternative platform. Once the network effect shifts from Facebook to something else, it's basically Myspace city. The challenge is establishing that network effect somewhere else.

Love to tell boutique "agency" designers how to do the bare minimum of their job for 3+ years

On the flip side, I’ve met people who scoff at laptops, no matter the brand/OS. Even in 2018, they firmly believe there’s no way to do “real work” on anything less than a desktop PC with at least 2-3 displays.

So does that mean laptops aren’t “real computers” either?

This conversation is so infuriatingly juvenile, elitist, shortsighted, and 26 other silly things.

#technology #iPadPro

I was *divinely inspired* to add these to slack

bird hell-place Show more

Would it be bad if I started using ‘seance’ as a verb to mean ‘figure out some undocumented technology’?

Like ‘Ugh I have to seance with this FORTRAN codebase that hasn’t been touched in 10 years.’

First you turn "favourite" into "like", then you make "like" do stupid shit, then you have to remove the "like" because it does stupid shit :thounking:

I've struck spam gold in my inbox. "Hi, victim." 😹

Sublime Text's latest update is going for a minimalist, doesn't-show-any-of-the-text-in-the-document aesthetic. Neat!

RT @griotspeak@twitter.com
Let's not "Make <X> great again"

Stop it. Stop legitimizing this even in jest. It remains a terrible and insidious slogan.

If you can vote in the US, your vote isn't a diluted action. If anything, disenfranchisement has made your vote artificially powerful. Use it for good.

For 2 hours I've been amending to a commit that just has the message "F"

Developers, who brought you such great ideas like horse armor and loot boxes, now have something to say

🤣🤣

*kzzt*

(bored voice)

This is an Airport Security Announcement:

We’re fucked.

That’s right.

Just completely boned.

*sigh*

(flatly) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I have friends, peers, and readers on bird site who are like “please come back!”

Fine, I check in again. And it’s still nothing but a waking nightmare of people yelling about politics and daily horrors.

I’m not trying to avoid or deny current events or the awful problems and legacy of my country. I’m trying to get active and do my part.

But I also can’t eat, sleep, and breathe this stuff every second of the day. It’s debilitating.

When you say “It's been…” and then pause for a moment as you mentally tally the time, please understand that there's only one possible way for me to respond. I'm sorry; I don't make the rules. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Why does tasty brown bread literally not exist outside overpriced steakhouses

Fine, I’ll be the one to say it. I didn’t get the Presidential Alert on my phone and I feel a little left out.

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