Regarding RMS: I'm not that big a fan of him.
Regarding cache and micro-architectural attacks: ASLR wasn't meant to protect against them. As such, bypassing ASLR through them is moot point.
Regarding a hardware-based solution: have you looked at the CHERI project from the University of Cambridge? I really like the work they're doing, though I doubt it'll be impactful for another decade or two (or three).