How has anyone successfully dealt with a tone policer? Like what can you actually do when it's happening to you repeatedly from one person, in a work context, only ever in group settings?
@amberfirefly Can you encourage someone else in the group to sort it out?
@yaxu you'd think, but that would require them stepping up, and I guess conflict aversion is a common trait!
This sounds really frustrating and annoying. I'm sure you've already spoken to your line manager. The next step is HR but maybe that could be more low key if they were invited to the meeting for some other plausible reason and then could speak to the guy afterwards with a "I noticed you were doing this" kind of chat.
Stuff like this is why whisper networks exist, but they obviously aren't enough by themselves.
@celesteh I run my own business/organisation so there is no HR or line manager! Also not a man doing it...
Ah, I made several assumptions.
Are you going to try talking to her about it? Sometimes people act like that because they're insecure. I sometimes act like a jerk without knowing it or only realise later. Being called in about it would be embarrassing, but less bad than it carrying on indefinitely.
Good luck
@celesteh I guess it's the how that I'm interested in, if there are people out there who have done this successfully without making things worse