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A couple of nights in that there #Glasgow for work.
Currently enjoying neeps and tatties, and then Balmoral Chicken in #TheCitizen.
Might go to see @phliameaux ( #DavidODoherty ) tomorrow 😁

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A couple of nights in that there #Glasgow for work.
Currently enjoying neeps and tatties, and then Balmoral Chicken in #TheCitizen.
Might go to see @phliameaux ( #DavidODoherty ) tomorrow 😁

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Friendly reminder to not make eye contact with me when I'm drinking out of your birdbath

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Friendly reminder to not make eye contact with me when I'm drinking out of your birdbath

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@daveshuken

I'm not sure if they'll form a coalition or not - and I'm not convinced that's the best option: although I'll freely admit that I'm not sure what is. What I am sure of is that we need to get the Tories out ASAP. But to do that means also overturning the foreign influencers (Russian & Chinese hackers) who control our elections....

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@daveshuken

I'm not sure if they'll form a coalition or not - and I'm not convinced that's the best option: although I'll freely admit that I'm not sure what is. What I am sure of is that we need to get the Tories out ASAP. But to do that means also overturning the foreign influencers (Russian & Chinese hackers) who control our elections....

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A cube shaped box containing a million bugs wouldn’t have to be that big, just 100 bugs wide (~1m) on each side. Stay alert

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A cube shaped box containing a million bugs wouldn’t have to be that big, just 100 bugs wide (~1m) on each side. Stay alert

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(Parts of the above may have been embellished.)

(But not the bit about my Gran!)

7/7

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(Parts of the above may have been embellished.)

(But not the bit about my Gran!)

7/7

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On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Pedro, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

6/7

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On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Pedro, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

6/7

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I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes.

5/7

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I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes.

5/7

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I have performed several covert operations with Special Branch. I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on my holibobs in France, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.

The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.

4/7

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I have performed several covert operations with Special Branch. I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on my holibobs in France, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.

The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.

4/7

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Last summer I toured Yorkshire with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.

3/7

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Last summer I toured Yorkshire with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.

3/7

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I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I thoroughly cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I manage time efficiently. I was scouted by the Mets.

2/7

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I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I thoroughly cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I manage time efficiently. I was scouted by the Mets.

2/7

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New Instance = New Personal #Profile #Introduction

My Gran was the first and only female forklift driver in the Vauxhall car factory at Luton.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

1/7 (please read all 7 for context)

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New Instance = New Personal #Profile #Introduction

My Gran was the first and only female forklift driver in the Vauxhall car factory at Luton.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

1/7 (please read all 7 for context)

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I WAS WONDERING WHY I KEPT TYPING LIKE THIS?

THEN I REALISED, HEY, SHIFT HAPPENS

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I WAS WONDERING WHY I KEPT TYPING LIKE THIS?

THEN I REALISED, HEY, SHIFT HAPPENS

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@SusiArnott

DON'T TELL EVERYONE!!!!

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@SusiArnott

DON'T TELL EVERYONE!!!!

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@SushiUmbrella

Get out there and install some hatches!
All the best people have hatches.
Einstein had a hatch.

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@SushiUmbrella

Get out there and install some hatches!
All the best people have hatches.
Einstein had a hatch.

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@ClaraListensprechen@universeodon.com

Not at all.
I keep my prom dress at close hand in my closet for my daily "cry time"

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@ClaraListensprechen@universeodon.com

Not at all.
I keep my prom dress at close hand in my closet for my daily "cry time"