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Sure, just find a way to self-host Conduit or Construct for Matrix and don’t federate - it would work like a charm for internal communication. Wait, NextCloud and Revolt implemented chats, they are encrypted and open source already? As such, I don’t observe any special benefits of Matrix for your use case (unless you’re gonna do bots and stuff). You have a lot of choies!

Yeah, I was hoping that I could white list specific accounts (family). I can use my existing account, and it keeps it simple. The others end up walled gardens.

I’m on the same path trying to find a solution. Is it possible to just whitelist certain accounts without all the public rooms. E.g., I have my own instance, but want to allow a DM from friend@matrix.org without allowing public rooms or other random DMs?

As far as I can tell…you can’t. Debating just using XMPP instead.

@carlyman @palitu on your own instance you only have the accounts and rooms you want. I have zero public rooms on mine. Only if you join a public room elsewhere does it get synced to your instance.
Blocking DM is a client thing I guess? I have had zero unwanted DM so far though...

What my perfect use-case would be:

• Private instance (@mydomain.org)
• Allow other instance USERS to be able to DM me (user@matrix.org --> me@mydomain.org and vice versa)
• NOT allow my instance users to join rooms on other instances (child@mydomain cannot join room@matrix.org)

But given how DMs are essentially rooms…I’m not sure that level of fidelity is possible

I get that… but from my wife