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Chris Hallbeck @Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social

Cowboy 1: “What’s that wagon approaching in the distance? New sherif?”

Cowboy 2: “Nah, that’s just Jasper the snake oil salesman.”

Cowboy 3 that owns some really squeaky snakes: “Aw heck yeah!”

Small dogs are always nervous because humans are constantly picking them up without warning. It’s like living inside a claw machine where you are the only prize.

That feeling when you check the news.

I want to open a revenge themed cake shop called “Just Desserts”.

*me explaining lgbt issues to my nephew*

no no no, lesbians get our powers from the *moon* what are they even teaching you in school?

GOTHAM NEWS: The Riddler has hidden the poison gas antidote inside one of these 1,000 origami cranes. Stay tuned as the situation unfolds.

Inventor: My lord, I present to you my latest creation “the couch”.

King: What’s with the gap between the bottom and the floor?

Inventor: Thousands of years from now parents will have to constantly retrieve small toys from under there.

King: Lol, you’re a sick fuck. I love it.

Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, the real monster is the friendships we created along the way.