Stop using ridiculously low DNS TTLs by Frank Denis
So, @PhoenixTril and I went Lucky Friends as I was in the bus to meet up with them for the last opportunity in a good while c.c
on holding friends accountable
so i know i preach a lot about holding your friends accountable, but i wanted to talk about a personal experience i had last night
so last week, i had an altercation with someone in my d&d group. the details arent very important; all you really have to know is that someone got very mad at me and insulted me multiple times before leaving the room, leaving me sobbing
now, i waited until sunday. i expected an apology from this person, because the dm said he would probably feel bad the next day. but when nothing happened, i decided to message the dm, who is this persons best friend, asking what to do.
what ensued was a very long, probably an hour, back and forth of them defending this persons actions. saying "no one thinks they should apologize" and "everyone was upset" etc. etc. by the end, i was in a panic attack, but i had convinced them that i deserved an apology.
then i talked to the person, and while it started out rough, we ended up having a very genuine conversation about what happened, and they not only apologized, but we also talked about what they could do better to prevent this stuff from happening in the future.
and, none of that would have happened if i listened to the dm in the first place. that whole incredibly productive conversation we had, i had to fight for, because this persons friend was trying to convince me it didnt need to happen.
and so the point im trying to make here; is that coddling your friends who have been shit people literally actively prevents them from growing as people or recognizing their flaws, because you convince them that theyre no big deal or dont matter. and youre doing a disservice to them, and to the people they hurt. do better.
Gah @kauko is so cute and it shouldn't be allowed.
Gonna eat her until she's sorry.
some thoughts about "OK Boomer" from a GenX perspective
honestly, given the reactions that the phrase "OK, Boomer" have been getting in the media, you'd think packs of teens have been systematically targeting elderly people for brutal street muggings or something. but, no... it's just a phrase, and a mild one at that. why is it so upsetting?
because it's not rebellious or confrontational, which are things older people are used to getting from younger people. it's straight-up *dismissive*. and it's not something we, GenX, the first-generation children of the Boomers, ever had the chance to express.
our rebellion was taken away, repackaged, and sold back to us when we were too young to know what it was for or why it could be powerful. we grew up feeling helpless and hopeless, trapped in a world where we had nothing meaningful to say and nothing useful to do because Doom was Nigh--the ozone layer, nuclear war, the Y2K bug, politicians that hated us sending us off to wars for blatant lies. Boomers got to have their Swinging 60s--we grew up under the specter of AIDS. we were isolated from each other, so we never realized that we weren't alone. and when we were finally able to get our own voice out into the popular culture, we spoke obliquely of isolation, depression, inward-turned knives.
The air conditioning unit in @Verdigris' window keeps making incredibly loud peeing sounds c________c
Many horns, some tails.
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